Husband serves time for the kids

Dear Amy: I’ve been married to my wife since 2003. In 2011, I found her texting and flirting with a friend of mine. We ultimately broke up.

I met another woman who was everything I dreamed of. I moved toward divorcing my wife. Tragically, three years after falling in love, my fiance died right in front of me.

Well, it turns out, my wife never filed the divorce papers.

We have two sons. I worked things out with her, and we got back together.

I feel like I’m serving a jail sentence with this person. My oldest son is on his way to the Marines, and my youngest is on his way to sixth grade.

I am married to a selfish, unemotional woman who doesn’t seem to have any love or compassion for me.

I’ve got just over five years to go until my youngest will be 18. My plan is to move out the day after his birthday.

Should I ride this out until it goes down in flames — or stick to the plan of just staying under the radar ? — Lonely Man

Dear Lonely:

You sound depressed and very sad. You say you are staying in this prison of a marriage for your sons’ sake, but you and your wife lived separately once before. Your previous breakup lasted for several years.

My point is that when you were motivated to leave the marriage previously, you did, and you found love with someone else.

Many parents in empty marriages say they are staying together for the sake of their children, but children don’t necessarily benefit from living with two parents who don’t want to be together.

Your five-year plan sounds like a very tough haul. Sessions with a marriage counselor might not bring your wife back to you, but you two would at least have the opportunity to come up with a workable plan.