Friendship for three leads to triangle

Dear Amy: I became friends with a co-worker, “Marilee,” two years ago. We developed a great friendship. I recently invited another girl, “Trina,” into our friend group.

Recently, though, Marilee and Trina seem to have bonded and are gradually excluding me from things.

I am feeling left out and hurt by this. The only time they do want to hang out with me now is to take part in my photography hobby, which involves using my expensive equipment. I feel like they are taking advantage.

They’re not trying to hide it from me, either.

I have not confronted them.

Are they trying to be hurtful? — Left Out in Lancaster, PA

Dear Left Out: “The rule of three” refers to the symmetry inherent in a trio. This surfaces in art, music, design and even comedy. The triangle conveys a sort of pleasing and complex balance, and this balance seems to work except for when it comes to human relationships. That’s when an equilateral triangle becomes an isosceles, often with one person isolated at the farthest point.

This challenging “odd man out” human dynamic happens at every stage of life — from childhood to old age.

I very much doubt that you have done anything wrong.

It doesn’t matter whether they are trying to be hurtful; they are being hurtful.

Your choices are to swallow your own honest reaction and accept your new status as the equipment provider, or to be honest regarding how this makes you feel. It is brave to admit your own vulnerability, and I think you should, understanding that you cannot change them.

You say, “I understand that you two have developed a good friendship, but I have to be honest with you: I feel really left out, lately.”