‘Frequent Flyer’ explains landing

Dear Amy: After reading so many parents’ questions about adult children returning to the nest, I thought I’d weigh in — as a “frequent flyer.”

Recently, I was home during the pandemic and it truly made things so much better for me, but it is hard to be an adult at home.

It’s hard to treat my parents like roommates, and to see myself as an adult.

Talking with my friends who’ve also lived at home, we frequently laugh about the immature arguments we get into with our parents.

Sometimes, it’s hard to shake off old habits. This includes parents who keep treating us like teenagers.

Last Saturday, after I had worked a late shift, my dad banged on my door and told me I was sleeping the day away!

Sometimes we feel shame around coming home, as if we’ve failed our grown-up life. Sometimes it’s hard for parents to accept new coping mechanisms we’ve developed in adulthood.

Apologizing frequently (and humor) helps.

And if parents find themselves saying, “It’s my house and my rules,” they shouldn’t be surprised if a teenage tantrum follows.

I am grateful that my parents have let us all keep trying. — A Frequent Flyer

Dear Frequent Flyer: Yes, it can be rewarding and frustrating when a “frequent flier” repeatedly comes home to roost. You have described the weird time-travel teenage transformation that occurs when you sleep in your childhood bedroom.

However, you seem to equate your parents with roommates. Your parents aren’t your roommates. When you have a roommate, you two are sharing the housing expense. When you bounce back home to save money, you are a non-rent-paying beloved child who is accepting parents’ generosity.