Girlfriend’ might angle for higher partner status

DearAmy: I have been in a relationship for13 years.

I am over 50 and I am really getting sick and tired of being disregarded when I am referred to as the “girlfriend.”

I feel that being the girlfriend implies a temporary thing.

I have never been so insecure, but I feel like I have to worry about my future.

My boyfriend has me on his life insurance, but has no will.

I don’t think he understands the feeling of having to worry that if he passes on, I will have to leave our home. — Lost

Dear Lost: I understand your objection to the term “girlfriend.” And yet you referred to your sweetheart as your “boyfriend.” Does he mind this?

I used to think that “partner” sounded like a descriptor better suited to a law firm than a love relationship. Now, I think it sounds just right. What are married couples, other than partners-in-life?

You should do some research on laws in your state regarding “common-law” relationships and “domestic partnerships.” Some states seem to regard longtime cohabiting couples with some of the same legal rights as married couples, although, based on my own research, it is still legally advantageous to be married.

Mediation would help you and your guy to sort out some of these lingering issues and could help you and he to settle some important matters And yes, you should both have a will!

I infer that you want to be married for practical reasons, but also possibly for other reasons. If he is resistant, then you will have a big decision to make, regarding whether you would rather be a girlfriend or an ex-girlfriend.