Daughter poses danger to family

Dear Amy: My daughter is toxic. She and her husband live with me, but with my help they will soon be moving out.

I am thinking of changing the locks once they leave.

My daughter tends to get angry and then cut out whomever she thinks offended her.

My mother (94) and myself get caught in the crossfire, and she will stop speaking to us.

Recently, however, her angry behavior escalated. She knocked me to the floor.

I believe she needs therapy to deal with her anger.

Her husband is nice, but he is cowed by her temper.

She does not tolerate any disagreements and when she argues she tears her opponent to shreds.

The strategies that are NOT effective include, tiptoeing around, agreeing, apologizing, trying to provide insight, trying to be understanding, or trying to ignore it.

Have any ideas? — Mother Dear Mother: I could speculate about what is going on, but she should be seen by a physician and a mental health professional for an assessment. Will she submit to this? Probably not, because one aspect of her malady, temperament, and personality is she cannot admit that she has a problem.

However, I’m most concerned about you and your 94-year-old mother.

If your daughter threatens or physically harms you or anyone else in the household, you should call the police and she should leave.

She has a history of initiating arguments and then declaring estrangements.

If this escalates, you should file a restraining order.

You may have to love her from a distance.

You cannot protect her husband, but you can hope he can protect himself.