Teen forces friend out of the closet

Dear Readers: Every year I step away from my column to work on other projects. I hope you enjoy these (edited) “Best Of ” Q&As from 10 years ago. Today’s topic is: coming out.

Dear Amy: I am a 15-yearold girl.

I have known my friend “James” for 10 years. We are close. We attend the same school and church. Our religion is against gay marriage.

I was on Facebook but it was logged into my friend “Tiffany’s” account. I didn’t realize until I read a message that James sent her. James told Tiffany that he was gay.

He said he didn’t know how to come out. He was also slamming our religion. He has been called gay since sixth grade but always denied it.

I told my sister what I found out, and she told my father.

My dad told James’ dad, and the whole thing got back to James. James now hates me. He says I shouldn’t have been looking through Tiffany’s messages, and I should have kept the news to myself. I told him the whole story, but he doesn’t believe me.

Was I wrong for telling my sister? I still love James but I don’t agree with his lifestyle. What can I do to fix our friendship? — Sad Teen

Dear Teen: “James” is right. Though it is possible to be on Facebook under someone else’s account without realizing, you read your friend’s private message and then you disclosed it to someone else.

When you are close friends with someone, you should take your concerns to them.

James now doesn’t have the option to make his own choice about how to talk about his own life.

You’ve made a mistake.

The most you can do now is also the best thing to do. Tell the truth. Acknowledge your mistake. Ask for forgiveness.