Coming soon to Tallahassee: The latest DeSantis sideshow

TALLAHASSEE — Gov. Ron DeSantis is not the kind of guy who relies on other politicians for advice. Can you picture him seeking out Charlie Crist, a former governor who wants his old job back and calls DeSantis a disaster? No. But as absurd as it sounds, it makes sense. That’s because Crist has much more experience at one of the trickiest parts of being governor: managing special sessions of the Florida Legislature. In four years, Crist had eight special sessions on subjects as varied as property taxes, light rail and oil drilling, and things didn’t always go well.

In Crist’s last year in office in 2010, with North Florida baking under a summer sun, Crist ordered lawmakers back to town for a one-day session in July to ban oil drilling off the coast. Not only did Republicans say “Hell, no,” they did it in a record speed of two hours and blasted Crist for grandstanding, and he responded in kind.

“I’m going to call them a do-nothing Legislature and I’m going to give them hell for it,” Crist said.

It was pure theater. This was after the disastrous Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf, and Crist was running for U.S. Senate as an independent candidate at the time.

DeSantis is obviously running for something because he’s demanding a special session to give employees greater protections against vaccine mandates as ordered by President Biden.

The governor also wants to tighten the so-called “parents’ bill of rights,” the new law used to attack school board mask mandates in Broward, Miami-Dade and elsewhere. Republican legislators, relegated to extras in DeSantis’ latest one-man show, will of course comply. They don’t have a choice.

You’ll notice that major societal problems that directly affect people never warrant special sessions.

Florida’s lack of affordable housing, dangerously understaffed prisons, condo safety, global warming, racial disparities and a dysfunctional unemployment system don’t easily lend themselves to a culture-war sideshow, so they’ll continue to be resolutely ignored.

Don’t buy the baloney that a mandate crackdown is a bold new idea. Texas tried, and big business killed it. Tennessee, where Republicans also control the agenda, has been in special session this week on similar restrictions. Whatever passes here will be along party lines and likely faces legal challenges.

Special sessions cost money, and the regular session is only two months away. So what’s the rush? DeSantis claims action is needed now because of unspecified mandates scheduled to take effect Jan. 1. “Time is of the essence,” DeSantis said.

Hypocrisy alert: This comes from a guy who waited six months, until being sued, before scheduling special elections for three upcoming legislative vacancies in Broward and Palm Beach counties, ensuring that hundreds of thousands of people will have no voice in the capital in 2022.

DeSantis caught legislative leaders off guard with his initial special session announcement a week ago, and the business-lobby reaction has been unusually frosty — signs of trouble ahead. It’s been carelessly handled so far, with no apparent effort to build a consensus. He doesn’t seem to care what legislators think, and they won’t dare take on a governor so popular with the Trump base.

If history is a guide, legislators will talk a good game, then nibble around the edges of the issue. They won’t explicitly ban vaccine mandates, which have repeatedly been upheld by the courts. If it’s like most special sessions, most Floridians won’t pay attention.

But this special session isn’t about you. It’s about him. DeSantis will get enough of what he wants that he can claim victory over Biden on Fox News and use it to raise campaign money — the whole point to begin with.

Pure theater.

Gov. DeSantis is obviously running for something because he’s demanding a special session to give employees greater protections against vaccine mandates as ordered by President Biden.