Father encourages his three children to set high goals
(EDITOR’S NOTE: In 1990, former Gazette feature writer Lyn Blackmon wrote a Father’s Day story on a local man’s hopes for his children. This is an abridged version of that story. Accompanying it is a response and update from his now-grown daughter.)
Richard Armstrong of Texarkana relaxed on the couch in his living room and talked about what kind of father he is. And he talked about it in front of his three children, so they could have their say, too.
Although he appeared casual, his shirt opened at the neck
showing the football medal he won in high school, his approach to fatherhood was serious.
He said he may be strict with his children, but that is because he wants them to be the best they can be.
Armstrong and his wife have three children—Jeffery, working on his master’s degree at Ohio State University after erring a bachelor’s from Prairie View A&M University; Yolanda, who will enter her senior year at Texas Women’s University; and Noreal, who is a third-grader.
Richard Armstrong graduated in 1958 from Dunbar High School, where he played quarterback on the football team during his junior and senior years. After high school, he joined the Air Force and was stationed in South Korea.
After his discharge from the military, he worked in New York. He had a high school diploma, but he learned that without a college degree, he was only worth $1 more than any man off the street.
So, although he was married and had a child, the went to college and earned a bachelor’s degree in education from what was then North Texas State University and went on the earn a master’s degree in sociology from Hunter University in New York. He works for the Texas Department of Human Services in Texarkana.
“I want my children to be aware of the three generations of our family. My father had lots of common sense, but he only had a third-grade education,” Armstrong said. “I worked hard to improve myself, and I tell them that each generation should improve their place in life.”
His dedication to education has passed on to his children.
“He’s a great father. He stays on us—he disciplines us, but he makes us think,” Jeffery said. “He wants us to be the best and that keeps us working to improve. He also has a lot of common sense and says there is a reason for everything he does.”
Yolanda was majoring in chemistry at Prairie View A&M, where she became a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha. But when she decided to become a nutritionist, she transferred to TWU, which has a stronger department in her field, she said. She credits her father with teaching her self-discipline and confidence.
“His family comes first with him. He has sacrificed a lot for us to get an education, and he taught me that God gave us the capabilities to learn. Dad keeps building us up,” she said.
Armstrong said education played a big part in his life. “I put God first and family next,” he said. “I have always taken an active part in my family’s progress and in our racial progress. I tell my children that they must learn to accept who they are and where they are. I tell them to be happy with what they have, and, if they aren’t, do something positive to improve it. I tell the children to get a grade ahead each year. Then I add, I expect a good grade.”
Armstrong encourages his children to set high goals just as he did. He was 27 years old when he left the Air Force, and he set a personal goal to get a college degree by the time he was 30. He said he missed it by two weeks. Then he set the next goal of getting a master’s degree.
“I tell my children to set their own goals. I want them to accomplish what I have and then to go beyond that. If they don’t, the family will go downhill,” he said. “I knew Jeffery didn’t always understand what I told them and how strict I was. My wife, who is in my corner, would sometimes tell me that I was too hard on the kids and that they would dislike me for it. I said that if my son is successful and we don’t get along as father and son, I can live with that. I felt like when he had realized his potential, then he too would be grateful that I had instilled it in him and his sisters to let their heads get them through life.”
Both of the college students laughed and said “eat, sleep, and study” was the Armstrong motto their father always taught. “If he caught me watching television rather than studying, he would tell me, ‘ You are giving your life away to TV,’” Yolanda said.
“I want them to be outstanding for what they can do,” Armstrong said. “When you know yourself and understand where you are, you can accept yourself and be comfortable around those with both less and those with more academics and around those with more or less money, too. If you have self-acceptance, you will always be comfortable.”
Being a father who was there for his children was a high priority for Armstrong, and his job allowed him to be there for them.
“I also wanted my children to go to an all-black school for the undergraduate work,” he said. “I regret that I did not, and I missed the social contact that you get that way.”
Another major point with Armstrong is his message to his children to remember where their blessings come from. He said, “All that you have or hope to get comes from the Lord. Don’t get haughty about your accomplishments, because you didn’t do it alone.”