How finding passion can help relationships thrive

Whether you’re trying to build a new love relationship or keep a civic group moving forward, your own attitude will make a huge difference. There’s nothing like having passion for life to energize those in your circle.

Why? Emotions are catching, psychologists say. People pick up on your vibes.

All great accomplishments are triggered by passion. Whether it’s mountain climbing, writing that great American novel, or having a successful relationship with your grandchildren, it certainly helps to approach everything with vigor.

One reason feeling upbeat helps is that it takes less energy to get things done. By exuding passion for living, you will inspire people around you to tackle more goals.

“I recall that my dad lost his job when I was ten,” a friend of ours told us recently. We’ll call him Richard.

“My grandmother asked our family to move in with her,” says Richard. “She made it all seem fun and like a positive step that we were coming to her house.”

Richard credits his grandmother for fueling his dad’s passion to find another job. “She kept telling him everything would work out. My dad found a great job that year, making twice what he was making before.”

Feeling upbeat and hopeful takes a conscious effort. We have to become very self-aware to change things for the better.

If you feel tired and tapped out on passion for living, try these tips:

Consider getting a physical exam. A friend of ours had been exhausted for years. She found out a few weeks ago that she is anemic. Problems such as a poor diet, blood sugar issues, or a sluggish metabolism can drain your energy.

Be honest about what’s mentally draining you. Look at your friendships, your job experience and all factors affecting your lifestyle.

For example, if you have too many things to do, try delegating at least two or three chores to others every single day. Or, spend less time with people who depress you.

Watch what you say to yourself. Your own words will have a bigger effect on you than anyone else’s words. For instance, brag on yourself when you complete your tasks. Tell yourself you can improve your daily routine.

Figure out what feeds your spirit. If you like to read biographies, listen to classical music, or hike on the weekends, carve out time to do these activities. Take care of yourself, and don’t feel guilty.

Too many people have lost their zest for living and for enjoying people. Their relationships are suffering because of this.

A friend of ours we’ll call Susan gave us the following confession: “I was coming out of the mall with my kids. I started barking orders to them about cleaning their rooms when we got home. I got pretty ugly, snapping and snarling. Then, I looked up to see my neighbor standing near us. She was probably wondering if she should call Child Protective Services!”

Susan told us she apologized to her neighbor and her kids. “I tried to make a joke of it,” she explained.

“But I knew the truth. I was losing my passion for living, because of too much to do on weekends. When I don’t have time to enjoy a cup of coffee with my friends or go to a movie, I get bitter. I’m not that worried about housework. When I can’t relax or feed my spirit, I have no passion for living.”

(Judi Light Hopson is the Executive Director of the stress management website USA Wellness Cafe at www.usawellnesscafe.com.

Emma Hopson is an author and a nurse educator.

Ted Hagen is a family psychologist.)