Sideline Chatter

Johnny Bench? Just call him The Big Red Cross Machine.

“I’ve had 30 chips taken out of my shoulder … I had seven to 10 concussions,” the Hall of Fame Reds catcher, 69, told the St.

Paul Pioneer Press: “I got beaned three times, saw stars and went to first base. I had seven (protective) cups broken, a detached bicep and … I’m going to get one more surgery on my right elbow …“The warranty ran out of my parts. What are you going to do?”

Headlines

At DailySnark.com: “Falcons already in Super Bowl form, blow double-digit lead in 4th quarter of first preseason game.”

At TheKicker.com: “Mayweather, McGregor seen handing out fight fliers on Vegas strip.”

Making a splash

Michael Phelps was spotted at the PGA Championship last week in Jordan Spieth’s gallery.

Just one problem: He wouldn’t stop diving into the water hazards.

Names in the game

Iceland’s Thorir Thorbjarnarson is Nebraska’s last basketball commit.

Pundits predict he’ll be a Scrabble All-American.

Good question

Which hot streak is the most amazing?

a) Joe DiMaggio, going 56 straight games with a hit

b) Seattle, 56 days in a row without rain

Hold that waistline

PSY466: Fat Studies, a behavioral-sciences course at Oregon State, argues that “weightism” is a social-justice issue.

Especially when you’re about to face Alabama’s offensive line. 2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits …

The Mariners purchased righthander Ernesto Frieri from the Rangers on Tuesday—for $1.

No truth the rumor Frieri now answers to the nickname of Buck.

Talking the talk

Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the nuclear rhetoric between the U.S. and North Korean leaders: “We’ve reached the point in human history where the only person who can save the world is Dennis Rodman.”

Blogger TC Chong, after portly Pablo Sandoval got recalled to the majors last week: “The Giants immediately installed speed bumps in the buffet line.”

Back at the plate

Japan’s Yomiuri Giants sell chopsticks made from broken bats.

That’s what you call hitting for the recycle.

Going, going, gone

The Chargers moved to Los Angeles.

Usain lost in his final 100-meter race.

In other words, the Bolts have left the building.

For the birds

According to a Sports Illustrated story, Tampa’s Tropicana Field’s concessions stands have had the most food-handling violations—105 —among MLB ballparks this season.

Apparently no one there likes the cleanup spot.

The Atlee softball team from Mechanicsville (Va.) team got booted from the Junior League World Series over a Snapchat photo that showed six players giving the finger.

Next year’s Atlee battle cry: Win one for the flippers!

Spur of the Moment Dept.

Dunkin’ Donuts announced it will experiment with a name change to just “Dunkin’.”

And when it merges with Horton’s—“Tim Dunkin’s”?

In the lineup

Hear about the latest set of Dallas Cowboys trading cards?

They’re the first to feature both front and side views.

Franchise tag

The sport of competitive tag— under the umbrella of World Chase Tag—is taking off in England.

Who’s the official league mascot, Cousin Itt?

More headlines

At SportsPickle.com: “Jay Cutler on signing with Dolphins: ‘I couldn’t pass up one last shot at 8-8.’ “

At TheKicker.com: “Impressive: Steph Curry already has best-selling jersey in golf.”