Sideline Chatter
Headlines
At SportsPickle.com: “Desperate Jaguars head coach names Peyton Manning starting QB.”
At TheKicker.com: “Patriots sign surveillance drone to 7-year deal.”
For the record
Forests? Water? Oxygen? No, the world’s most boundless resource is Major League Baseball records.
Thanks to stat mavens, we just learned that the Cubs just became the first MLB team in history with five players 25 or younger to hit 20 or more home runs in the same season.
Hooping it up
Facebook is rolling out a new reality series featuring LaVar and sons called “Ball in the Family.”
If this pans out, expect a sudden spate of copycat knockoffs, such as: Charles Barkley in “Chuck
Dynasty”
Steph Curry in “30 Rocks”
Spellcheck time
The Mariners committed five errors in one inning?
Everybody knows there’s no I in team, but who knew there were five E’s in Seattle?
Fix that slice
Michelle Wie had to withdraw from the Canadian Pacific Women’s Open to undergo emergency appendix surgery.
Her only advice to the surgeon: Replace that divot!
His-and-hers rings
While Floyd Mayweather was pounding Conor McGregor in Las Vegas, UFC fighters Ronda Rousey and Travis Browne were trying the knot in Hawaii.
And there wasn’t dry eye in the house when it got to the “till death do we tap out” part.
Snooze alert
Yawning is contagious, University of Nottingham researchers have confirmed.
Which probably explains why pundits are predicting 70,000 open mouths in the stands at next month’s Jets-Browns game.
Talking the talk
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after the Lions signed QB Matt Stafford to the highest salary in NFL history with a five-year deal: “Or, as Floyd Mayweather calls $135 mil, four rounds.”
Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after the Royals finally snapped their a 452/3-inning scoreless streak: “Even soccer fans at the ballpark were yelling, ˜Bor-ing!’ “
Gimme question
In the spirit of who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb and what color is the White House, any guesses as to which position Arkansas State footballer Dee Liner plays?
Losing with E’s
The Mariners became the first MLB team since the 1977 Cubs to commit five errors in one inning during a 10-1 drubbing by the Yankees.
In keeping with the theme, the players got their postgame juice boxes and orange slices taken away.
More headlines
At TheOnion.com: “Manager can’t remember why he came out to mound.”
At TheKicker.com: “Real boxing fan yearns for the dignified ear-biting days.”
Brown for the count
Twelve Browns players—four running backs, three DBs, two receivers, two linebackers and a tight end—knelt in protest during the national anthem before an exhibition game last month.
But no QBs. After going 1-15 last season, they’re apparently out of practice when it comes to taking a knee.
Giant duds
San Francisco’s out-of-contention baseball team is sending out email ads for “Giants autumn attire.”
It’s a safe bet that this fashion line isn’t being billed as the “Fall Classic.”
Quote marks
Linval Joseph, the Vikings’ 6-4, 328-pound defensive tackle, telling the St. Paul Pioneer Press why he drives a GMC truck instead of, say, a Maserati: “Why get one? I can’t fit in it.”
Commentor John, to Yahoo. com, after the Jets picked up Patriots castoff Kony Ealy: “Nice! The Jets once had Revis Island, now when he’s sitting at the end of the bench, Kony Island.”