His heroism earned him a starring role in ‘Speed 3’
Four career MLB saves for Blaine Boyer? Make it five.
The veteran Royals reliever rushed to the front of the team bus and grabbed the steering wheel to keep it under control after a chunk of ice flew through the windshield, injuring the driver.
“That guy Fred was a trouper,” Boyer told the Athletic, deflecting the credit to the driver. “He had shards in his face, and he was locked in on trying to get the bus slowed down.”
Don’t chew on this
The Metropolitan King County Council approved a ban on vaping and chewing tobacco in sports facilities—particularly the Mariners’ Safeco Field—effective May 19.
In other words, Skoal’s out for summer.
Type-O personality
Tony Frisco, 87, of East Palatka, Fla., has given 100 gallons of blood over his lifetime.
Even more amazing: He wasn’t even a hockey player!
Butt Fumble II?
Journeyman NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez got hit with a four-game ban for PEDs.
Let’s hope he doesn’t try using the “my butt backed into a needle” excuse.
That 5-hole’s a doozy
Because of a scheduling logjam, the telecast of Game 4 of the Devils-Lightning playoff series got moved to the Golf Channel.
Disoriented broadcasters never did figure out whether Nikita Kucherov’s hockey stick was a sand wedge or a 9-iron.
Russian to judgment
A frustrated fan of Russian soccer team Luch-Energiya Vladivostok smuggled a live rooster into a match and hurled it at beleaguered manager Aleksandr Grigoryan.
Futbol pundits immediately declared it the throw-in of the season.
Just wondering
Why don’t racehorses in training wear a Fit Bit?
Hey, battered, battered
Dodgers second baseman Chase Utley got hit by a pitch for the 200th time in his MLB career last Tuesday.
He’s the only big-league player who uses Adolph’s Meat Tenderizer as a liniment.
Jaws 1, Surfers 0
The World Surf League has canceled its Margaret River Pro surf competition in West Australia because of nearby shark attacks.
In other words, the game was called on account of pain.
Envelope, please
Jalen Hurts’ father, Averion, told Bleacher Report that his quarterbacking son would likely transfer to another school if he doesn’t retain the starting job at Alabama.
And the winner of the 2018 LaVar Ball Trophy is …
Talking the talk
Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after a woman declined to sing the national anthem at a Reno Aces minor-league baseball game because she couldn’t bring her gun: “Apparently they got her name off the wrong list of sopranos.”
Phil Mushnick of the New York Post, seeking a rules clarification: “Several readers asked if Wednesday’s Padres-Rockies and Yankees-Red Sox brawls counted as visits to the mound.”
Dancing Kareem
Among the next round of contestants on “Dancing With The Stars”: basketball icon Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Hey, don’t laugh. Even at age 71 dancing’s got to be easier than dragging Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Take me out to the golf game?
The Angels asked a small group of fans in Kansas City to quiet down during Shohei Ohtani’s at-bats.
So when Ohtani grounds one to the left side, we assume,
fans are free to yell “Get in the hole!”
Sports quiz
The college president collapsed but is said to be OK after suffering a slight stroke on the campus of:
a) Oklahoma, during the Sooners’ unveiling of their Bob Stoops statue
b) Kentucky, when a basketball player said he’d return for his sophomore year
c) Louisville, when players requested a stripper pole for the basketball dorm
Let’s maim two
The Mariners’ injury bug has even spread to the broadcast booth, with Rick Rizzs (biceps) and Dave Sims (Achilles) both sidelined after surgery to repair injuries incurred from playing in the same pickup basketball game.
So who was playing on the other team, Bill Laimbeer?
Put me in, c-c-c-coach
The Twins had to postpone three straight games against the White Sox because of a nasty spring snowstorm.
How can you tell you’re in Minnesota? The catcher tells you one’s a fastball, two’s a curve and three’s a snowball.
Stat-nerd alert
Clubhouse leader for this year’s MLB Marquis de Sade Award? A’s pitcher Kendall Graveman. He has a WHIP of 2.02.
Fast starter
Mr. October? The Brewers have Mr. April.
Slugger Eric Thames has hit 10 opening-month home runs against the Reds the past two seasons.
All Bats Are Off Dept.
April 17, in case you missed it, was National Bat Appreciation Day.
Giants hitters, apparently not getting the memo, went 1-for-28 that night.
Headlines
At TheOnion.com: “Report: Dez Bryant could be perfect fit for NFL team lacking locker-room cancer.”
At Fark.com: “Bryce Harper’s bat died a hero last night. Godspeed, Wonderboy.”
Lucky him
Golfer Kelly Kraft’s textbook tee shot struck “a giant, black bird,” the ball fell into a water hazard, he took a double bogey and then
wound up missing the cut at the RBC Heritage—by one shot.
Did we mention that all this happened on Friday the 13th?
Wasted trip
Police raided FSU QB Deondre Francois’ apartment on a tip he was selling pot, but they found less than an ounce of marijuana.
Sort of the sporting equivalent of Geraldo Rivera cracking Al Capone’s vault and unearthing a dusty bottle.
That’s a good break
The Nationals’ Bryce Harper hit a 406-foot homer despite his bat breaking in half.
So what’ll he try for his next home-run stunt—a checked swing? A drag bunt?
My old flames
Ford—on the heels of Chevy’s switch from SS to Camaros for this year’s NASCAR Cup Series races— announced plans to change from Fusions to Mustangs for the 2019 season.
NASCAR fire crews were just thankful they didn’t switch over to Corvairs and Pintos.
Fact of the Week
The Seahawks have a better winning percentage, all time, in NFL playoff games (. 516) than they do regular-season games (. 507).
Bad idea
New Hampshire’s Oyster River Youth Association is investigating two baseball coaches who allegedly discussed a beanball plot in an effort to force an opposing player to quit, the Fosters Daily Democrat reported.
The player in question is 11 years old—and the league’s only girl.
Get me marketing
Thanks to Mother Nature, baseball’s “Spahn and Sain and pray for rain” mantra has been replaced this season by … well … uh … anybody know of a pitching tandem that rhymes with snow?