Make your hamburger better—without Mayochup

Mayochup: It’s mayonnaise and ketchup already mixed together. In case you’ve been living under a self-imposed social-media ban, the H. J. Heinz Company just foisted this abject idiocy onto the American public, then received untold free publicity for it from us all. (Yes, I realize I am contributing to the problem, but hold on—it’s for an extremely important BLTrelated cause.)

All the anti-Mayochup rants have already been ranted: It already exists in the form of fry sauce and salsa rosado; it’s just special sauce minus the relish; etc. But it must be said: This deeply stupid non-development represents not just the triumph of convenience over sense-making, but that of end-stage capitalism over human dignity. Combining the contents of two containers is now officially too much cooking for America, and the solution, of course, is to buy another thing.

Make your next BLT a BLSDTM (hottt!). I tried it yesterday, and SunDried Tomato Mayo adds a rich, creamy, deeply flavored, umami-bomby, almost too tomatoey sensation to a BLT (as well as a beautiful rosy color). A hamburger, IMHO, would also benefit massively. To dip fries in it would be fabulous. It’d even be spectacular on your hot dog, if that’s your thing. This is America, so go for it. Weirdo.

SO-MUCH-BETTERTHANSUN-DRIED TOMATO

MAYONNAISE

Because making your sad out-of-tomato-season BLT into a marvelous BLSDTM is the opposite of totally stupid (courtesy of Susan Raunig). 1/4 cup mayo 2 tablespoons sun-dried tomatoes (packed in oil)

2-3 tablespoons concentrated tomato paste

Chop sun-dried tomatoes finely. Mix all ingredients together and season with salt and pepper.