Woman worries about telling spouse of her new faith

Der Abby: I am a woman in my 30s with a good head on my shoulders, but I have a dilemma. I recently became Wiccan, and I’m hiding my new religion from my fiance.

I was raised Protestant but have drifted away from Christianity. My fiance was raised Catholic but no longer practices. He’s not actively involved in any religion, but I’m worried about how he will react to learning that I’m now a “witch,” which is just a broad term for anyone who follows the Wiccan spiritual path. I don’t want him to think I’ve lost my mind, but I also can’t keep hiding my beliefs from him. Secrets are never a positive thing in a relationship, but I’m worried about how this news will be received. Please help. — West Viginia Wiccan

Dear Wiccan: I agree this isn’t a secret you should keep. If it were me, I would start disclosing the information slowly, sharing Wiccan literature, telling him you found it fascinating, and sharing a few of the principles with him. Refrain from hitting him over the head with an announcement of your conversion and it will be less shocking.

Dear Abby: Why do women stop having sex after marriage? This is my second marriage. We have been married two years, and to date we have had sex three times. Before marriage we had a great sex life, but the day I said “I do” it stopped. I’m not the only man who is faced with this problem. — Need an Answer

Dear Need: Something is wrong with this picture. Not all women stop having sex after marriage. The two of you are long overdue for a frank conversation because this isn’t fair to you. Could your wife’s lack of interest be medical or emotional? Do you get along otherwise? Did this happen with your first wife, too? If the answer to that question is yes, your technique may need some polishing, or your wives may not have enjoyed sex before or after your weddings.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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