How to win at the change game
Everyone has bad habits — repeated actions or activities that do harm, even as you get a “reward” from them. For example, you puff that cigarette for the pleasure of a nicotine rush while you know for sure you are damaging your breathing, or you feel a warm glow of satisfaction as you polish off a bag of cookies, all the while aware that you’re risking your heart health. But bad habits don’t have to be major problems — for example, you may pick at your nails when you’re nervous, feeling it helps you stay calm, while actually causing yourself physical irritation and discomfort.
No wonder almost everyone says they want to be able to break one habit or another. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean they succeed. Around 90% of people who lose weight end up gaining it back. Many smokers have to try to quit 30 times before succeeding for good.
The better news is that researchers are figuring out what makes it easier to leave a harmful habit behind and embrace a more life-affirming way of acting. So we’re going to look at the most practical and insightful findings that you can apply to your own struggle to clear out bad habits and/or adopt good ones.
Making A Plan
Your first step is to commit to trying to change. We know that’s often easier said than done, so write out a simple sentence that states your goal and post it on the refrigerator door, the mirror in the bathroom, anywhere you will see it multiple times a day.
There is one caution. According to researchers at University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, you don’t want to try to give up one bad habit and add a new good one at the same time (for example, stop smoking and begin working out three days a week). According to their study published in Health Psychology Review, telling yourself to do something positive, such as increasing the amount of exercise you get, while aiming to decrease a “bad” habit, like eating ultraprocessed foods, is a formula for failure.
In contrast, doing two positive actions — exercising more and eating more fresh fruit — works pretty well. And what works best is deciding to stop two things at once, such as giving up smoking and fried foods!
Once you decide what your goal is …
Identify Your “Bad” Habit Triggers
There’s a feedback loop that initiates habitual actions — say, eating calorie-dense sweets. First, something acts as a reminder (your favorite TV show comes on at 9 p.m.). That then sets in motion a routine action (you always go into the kitchen to get a slice of cake to eat while you are watching it). And you then get your reward (the fleeting pleasure of watching the show and eating the sweet).
Bringing these unconscious habits to the forefront of your mind is step one in breaking the cycle. So whatever feelings and behaviors send you into the arms of the habit you’re trying to break, identify them and write them down.
Set a Realistic Time Frame Change doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, it can take weeks or months for the desired change to become automatic. Also, accept that you may slip up now and again. Don’t dwell on the fact that you have given up something — practicing mindful meditation can help you let such thoughts float away.
Don’t Punish Yourself for Slipping Up — Try Again Next Monday!
The Monday Campaigns (mondaycampaigns.org/) has done a lot of research on how people adopt new positive habits and give up old, bad ones. They’ve discovered that embracing the notion that you can begin again every Monday takes pressure off and provides hope for change that propels people toward success. Check out their programs and advice.
Take charge of your future; that’s what breaking a habit is all about. When you do that, you will feel empowered, hopeful and healthier. So let yourself feel good.
Mehmet Oz, M.D. is host of “The Dr. Oz Show,” and Mike Roizen, M.D. is Chief Wellness Officer and Chair of Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic. To live your healthiest, tune into “The Dr. Oz Show” or visit sharecare.com.