Husband, sons carry on woman’s kindness tradition
CHEYENNE, Wyo. — Kristy Van Der Hoeven lived each day representing the spirit of giving in Cheyenne.
She was described by her loved ones as a woman with a laugh you could recognize over the blare of a concert in Denver’s Pepsi Center, a dedicated mother filled to the brim with kindness and a community member ready to serve those in need at a moment’s notice.
This holiday season, in the wake of her Sept. 1 death, her memory lived on in the tradition she began nearly a decade ago.
“It’s what we do to honor Kristy,” her husband, Adam Van Der Hoeven, told the Wyoming Tribune Eagle.
She started the “25 Days of Kindness” as a way to teach her oldest son how to lead a life of goodwill when he was in elementary school. From leaving letters of encouragement on car windshields to donating blankets to the Cheyenne Animal Shelter, every day leading up to Christmas involved a form of giving back.
Eventually, both her sons, Carter and Cyler Van Der Hoeven, would partake in the tradition with her every year. Although her father, husband and sons said she spent all her days trying to provide a moment of happiness for those she would meet, this was a clear, organized and anonymous effort.
“Kristy wanted no recognition for any of this,” said her father, Steve Price. “That isn’t why she ever did any of this.”
She wanted it to be her secret, going so far as to “dingdong ditch” houses with notes and treats left behind for strangers. Her father said she would run away with the boys, giddy to make someone’s day.
“Ever since she was a little girl, she’s always been that way,” Price said.
He recalled a story her mother would tell him about the mornings of Christmas when she was a child.
Kristy’s youngest sister loved to open presents with a passion, and when it came time to huddle under the Christmas tree, she’d end up opening even the ones that weren’t hers.
An older sister might be angry for not getting the chance to partake, but Price said she’d simply say “let her do it” and smile.
All of her family said this was who Kristy was to the core. And as she got older, her husband said, her kindness was also an extension of following their faith.
“We’re Christians,” he said, “and we want to make sure that we’re being as much like Jesus as we can.”
Adam Van Der Hoeven said his wife’s personality, mentality and essence was built around putting others first, and it made her a superwoman in his eyes. Between cleaning, helping the boys with their homework, serving others, working and much more, he doesn’t know how she managed it.
Out of that, he said the “25 Days of Kindness” was inspired, and his family continues to follow in her footsteps. His eldest son echoed his thoughts.
“It doesn’t matter what religion you are, or who you are, our world just needs more kind people and needs more people to just be good,” Carter said. “And that’s what she kind of stood for, and that’s why we started this.”
His little brother said making the world a better place was her favorite thing to do.
In their first Christmas without their role model, they carried on the “25 Days of Kindness” without her. They spent each day finding new ways to show kindness toward members of the Cheyenne community.
The boys’ father illustrated one of their favorite days, where they tucked away dollar bills in the toy section of a local dollar store. He said besides being great fun, he knew it would make a child’s day if they got to pick out a little item they desired at no cost to their parents. He wanted to brighten their day and be a light in the darkness.
All three of them said this tradition has taught them the magic in even the smallest gestures.
“You never know what people are going through or what their day-to-day life is,” Carter said. “So, even just something little can make their day and give them the motivation to keep on pushing on.”
They said they have seen the same kindness repaid to them, as they all have lived in Cheyenne their whole lives. Adam Van Der Hoeven said he was proud to live in such a goodhearted community.
“There’s so many people that came together for us after Kristy passed,” he said.
But the acts of service have spread past the Cheyenne city limits.
The creator’s sister, Amy Smith, started up her “25 Days of Kindness,” along with a Facebook page, in Michigan to record and encourage others to take part. Pictures are posted from not just Michigan and Wyoming, but across the country.
There was also a signup sheet for all 25 days leading up to Christmas, where she said multiple people were scheduled to take part each day.
“What I think I like about it most is that it’s all over the place,” she said. “You know, we’ve got people living in Vegas who are doing it.”
Smith said it has allowed her to successfully keep her sister’s custom and memory alive.
And it will for many years to come. Adam Van Der Hoeven and his sons plan on preserving her legacy, even after the boys move out of the house and grow up. They said giving has become a habit, which has turned into a way of life.
“I learned that it doesn’t have to be December first, all the way up to Dec. 25 to do a random act of kindness,” the youngest said. “You can go every day of the year.”
“You never know what people are going through or what their day-today life is. So, even just something little can make their day and give them the motivation to keep on pushing on.” — Carter Van Der Hoeven