Late laughs
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
After pandemic upheavals, tomorrow [May 7] will see what’s being called a “normal Kentucky Derby.” So, tiny men on giant horses being screamed at by drunk women in enormous hats. You know, normal.
[The Wall Street Journal reported that] “many NFT owners are finding their investments are worth significantly less than when they bought them.” ... An NFT of the first tweet from Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey sold in March 2021 for $2.9 million, but when it went up for auction recently, the highest bid came in at $277. Wow! I have not seen anything lose value that quickly since Kevin Spacey’s Oscars.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Nike has accused the retail website Stockx of selling counterfeit versions of their shoes. Apparently, people were angry to hear that they dropped $300 on a pair of Air Gordons.
Today [May 11] President Biden visited a farm in Illinois, where he announced new steps to fight rising food costs and inflation. You know your presidency is in rough shape when your staff is like, “It’s time to drive you to a farm upstate.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but the Republic of North Korea today reported their first case of COVID-19. Can you imagine that? Two years after we all got it . ... How did COVID even get into North Korea? Did Kid Rock play Pyongyang and not tell us about it?
The Jan. 6 Committee today took the extraordinary step of sending subpoenas to five House Republicans who have refused to co-operate so far. Kevin Mccarthy, Jim Jordan, Scott Perry, Andy Biggs and Mo Brooks all got served. Either that or this is a Cialis commercial . ... Are you suffering from “electile” dysfunction?
In an attempt to be inclusive, Mattel is rolling out Barbie dolls with various physical conditions. One of those conditions is hearing loss, which means Barbie will come with hearing aids. Which is an amazing step towards inclusion that your child will immediately swallow.
Late Night With Seth Meyers
North Korea reported its first coronavirus outbreak today and ordered all cities and counties to enter lockdown, or, as they call it, “business as usual!”
While speaking yesterday to thousands of union electrical workers, President Biden referred to former president Trump as “the great MAGA king.” OK, can we please not give him any more ideas?
New York Mayor Eric Adams said on Tuesday that his official residence, Gracie Mansion, is haunted and added, “I don’t care what anyone says, there are ghosts in there.” Um, I don’t think that’s who’s booing you.
According to a new study, the top three baby names said to make a comeback this year are Joan, Mary and Margaret; which is also a full curse in a Catholic household. “Ah, Joan, Mary and Margaret! I stubbed my toe!”