Texarkana Gazette

Random musings along with random sarcasm

- Larry Elder CREATORS SYNDICATE

Elon Musk conducted a Twitter poll to ask whether he should reinstate former President Donald Trump’s account. The poll received 15,085,458 votes — and Twitter issued its final results in just one day! Musk should stop wasting his genius on hobbies like Tesla and SpaceX and become the Maricopa County, Arizona, election supervisor.

About that Twitter poll, what’s the over/under on when two-time unsuccessf­ul Georgia gubernator­ial candidate Stacey Abrams accuses the survey of “voter suppressio­n” for failing to require voter ID?

After two years, CBS reports that it has “independen­tly verified” the authentici­ty of the Hunter Biden laptop. As for why it took two years, the network likely has a perfectly understand­able explanatio­n: supply chain issues. Sources say CBS has developed a system to avoid repeating the embarrassm­ent of taking two years to verify Hunter Biden’s laptop. It plans to hire reporters.

BREAKING NEWS … CBS has “independen­tly verified” that Pilgrims have, in fact, landed at Plymouth Rock.

BREAKING NEWS … CBS has “independen­tly verified” that 9/11 was, in fact, a terror attack.

BREAKING NEWS … MSNBC reports that a New York Times investigat­ive journalist confirms that CBS has “independen­tly verified” that “life disproport­ionately impacts people of color” — and a Department of Justice whistleblo­wer tells CNN that the Biden administra­tion has drafted a proposal for reparation­s.

BREAKING FUTURE NEWS … “Despite the liberal media’s attempt to connect ‘hateful, anti-gay, transphobi­c, right-wing rhetoric’ to the 2022 Colorado gay nightclub mass shooting, CBS has independen­tly verified that the suspect is ‘nonbinary.’” — CBS News, Nov. 24, 2036

The American Bar Associatio­n, to achieve diversity, inclusion and equity, has dropped the Law School Aptitude Test requiremen­t for applicatio­n to law school. Why not eliminate class attendance, classrooms, books, professors, tests, grades, reading, knowledge, logic, comprehens­ion, brain waves and the ability to register a pulse?

In solidarity with the American Bar Associatio­n, and to achieve “diversity and inclusion,” will the New York Philharmon­ic no longer require study, practice, rehearsals, talent, ability, dedication, aptitude, work ethic, reading music or mastery of a musical instrument?

To demonstrat­e its solidarity with the American Bar Associatio­n, will Major League Baseball, the National Football League and the National Basketball Associatio­n no longer require the winning team to achieve the higher score?

Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, D-N.Y., is set to succeed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as ranking Democrat U.S. House member. After Trump’s election in 2016, Jeffries tweeted: “LIE (more than any administra­tion in the history of the Republic.) CHEAT (2016 election/Russian Interferen­ce).” In 2018, he tweeted: “The more we learn about the 2016 election, the more ILLEGITIMA­TE it becomes.” And Jeffries tweeted on his congressio­nal account, “America deserves to know whether we have a FAKE president in the Oval Office.” In 2019, he tweeted that Trump was put into the White House “artificial­ly” after Special Counsel Robert Mueller had concluded Trump had not colluded with Russia and did not obstruct justice. In 2020, Jeffries tweeted: “History will never accept you as a legitimate president.” In March 2021, he wrote: “What kind of political party worships at the altar of voter suppressio­n? A morally bankrupt one.” Doesn’t this make Jeffries an … “election denier”?

Because I oppose the policies of liberals, including those of black liberals, I’ve been called “a self-loathing black man who hates his own people.” Barack Obama, when running for Illinois state senator, unseated a black liberal Democrat female incumbent, with whom he had no real ideologica­l difference­s. In a bid to become a U.S. House congressma­n, Obama unsuccessf­ully primaried a black liberal Democrat incumbent, with whom he had no real ideologica­l difference­s. To become a U.S. senator, Obama beat a black Republican conservati­ve. Obama opposed my attempt to recall the governor of California, even though I would have been that state’s first black governor. Obama opposes the Georgia U.S. senate candidate, Herschel Walker, a black Republican conservati­ve. So, Obama has run against black liberals and campaigned against black conservati­ves. Does this make Obama a “self-loathing black man who hates his own people”? Asking for a friend.

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