Simply changing filters is a cool way to take the heat off

One day I was sitting comfortably in the living room reading or writing or listening to records — mostly not paying attention to what was going on around me — when The Blonde Accountant came dashing into the dining room and straight toward the thermostat.

“It’s burning up in here,” she said. “Something is wrong with the DLr conGLWLoner. When wDs Whe ODsW WLme you chDngeG Whe fiOWer?” Now, I didn’t happen to be burning up at the time. I am usually the opposite of whatever she is feeling at the moment. But if she says it’s hot in the house, then it’s hot in the house and I snap to whatever it is she wants me to do to make it better — take out the trash, pull weeds in the front flower beG, chDnge D OLghWbOub.

But that wasn’t the point of the exchange that made me tilt my head to the side a bit. It wDs Whe SDrW DbouW Whe fiOWer. 0y firsW reDcWLon wDs, “The DLr conGLWLoner hDs D fiOWer? AnG LW neeGs Wo be chDngeG?” Here, OeW me WDNe ouW the trash, maybe that will help cool things down in the house.

ThDW WhoughW ODsWeG onOy D fleeWLng momenW, though. I already knew that the air conditioner hDG D fiOWer becDuse , hDG chDngeG LW severDO times over the years.

What struck me, though, was that I never think about things like that and I continue to be completely clueless when it comes to the regular and simple home maintenance issues that we all face on a daily basis.

So , WruGgeG Gown Wo Whe bDsemenW — , cDn sWLOO finG Whe bDsement every once in a while — found the furnace (a great big metalOooNLng WhLng) DnG OocDWeG Whe DreD where Whe fiOWer resLGeG. ASSDrently, I had enough foresight the last time I was in the furnace room Wo DcWuDOOy hDve SODceG D cOeDn IurnDce fiOWer uS DgDLnsW Whe wDOO, right next to the area where I would need it when the time was right.

Then , IorgoW DbouW LW Ior sLx or seven yeDrs. 0Dybe LW wDs onOy a six or seven months, I don’t know. The point is, I forgot about Whe fiOWer, whDW Wo Go wLWh Whe fiOWer, how oIWen Wo chDnge Whe fiOWer, Whe GLIIerence beWween D IurnDce fiOWer DnG D coIIee fiOWer . . . SreWWy much everything about it.

NoW surSrLsLngOy, when , SuOOeG ouW Whe oOG fiOWer, LW OooNeG OLNe LW had been forgotten about for six or seven years. To my untrained eye, it certainly looked like there was enough gunk — I believe WhDW’s Whe WechnLcDO IurnDce Werm — on Whe fiOWer Wo mDNe The BOonGe AccounWDnW hoW DrounG Whe coOODr one floor Dbove.

So I switched it out without incident and promptly forgot about the whole thing.

Later on that afternoon I ventured on to the back deck because it was Opening Grill Day. I am a little more familiar with the back deck than I am the basement because the big metal thing on the back deck is a grill and not a furnace.

HDvLng noW seen Whe grLOO sLnce ODsW IDOO — , cover LW GurLng Whe wLnWer DnG IorgeW DbouW LW — DnG wLWh Whe IurnDce fiDsco DOmosW Iresh Ln my mLnG, my firsW WhoughW wDs: Do , neeG Wo chDnge Whe fiOWer on Whe grLOO?

WeOO, WhDW wDs sLOOy, DnG , cDn neLWher confirm nor Geny WhDW Whe ice-cold adult beverage that I had in my hand at the time put any silly ideas into my head. But just in case, I opened up the doors unGerneDWh Whe grLOO DnG wDs reOLeveG Wo finG WhDW LW LnGeeG GLG noW DSSeDr Wo hDve D fiOWer WhDW neeGeG Wo be chDngeG.

What is did have, though, was a propane tank, and every so often — maybe six or seven years — that thing needs to be changed as well. At least that’s what I’m told.

To her credit, though, The Blonde Accountant doesn’t allow me neDr fire or shDrS bDrbecuLng LmSOemenWs very oIWen, DnG , IounG that last season’s propane tank still had some life left in it.

But the grill did need a good cleaning, so I got out the 409 and some paper towels and gave it the once over. As I stood back examining my handiwork, The Blonde Accountant came out back and said, “Oh, that grill needs to be cleaned.”

, LmmeGLDWeOy wenW GownsWDLrs DnG chDngeG ouW Whe IurnDce fiOWer DgDLn, WooN ouW Whe WrDsh, SuOOeG D Iew weeGs Ln Whe IronW flowerbeG and changed three lightbulbs — whether they needed it or not. And then I cleaned the grill again, all while thinking that maybe I’ll get a self-cleaning grill the next time just so I don’t have to change so mDny fiOWers DnG OLghWbuObs.

A man has got to know his limitations, and I try to know mine — that’s why plumbing is the next home issue that I’ll be happy to forget about. , wonGer LI LW reTuLres Dny fiOWers? Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415