The Ambler Gazette

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- Outta Leftfield

Sitting out at the Limerick outlet mall during the big Labor Day sale last weekend, I had plenty of time to daydream. I know my role on these shopping trips: Sitting, snoozing, schlepping. And, of course, with all of that comes the daydreamin­g.

And here is what I concluded: I miss George Carlin.

$V ZH finG RurVHOvHV in the middle of silly poOLWLFDO FRnvHnWLRn VHDVRn, I wondered what CarOLn ZRuOG KDvH WKRuJKW about the process of choosing our leaders WKHVH GDyV. , GRn’W EHOLHvH LW’V D stretch to say that he wouldn’t think much of it at all.

But I don’t write about politics Ln WKLV VSDFH. :H KDvH HnRuJK RI that hoo-ha at our disposal if we FKRRVH WR rHDG LW. SuIfiFH WR VDy WKDW I don’t think George Carlin would be amused by today’s politics.

I started listening to Carlin in the early 1970s, around the age of 13 or 14. In those days, he recorded comedy albums, and I was fascinated by his use of the language and his take on human nature. He was less political then, but so was my teenage world. Carlin thought flDWuOHnFH ZDV Iunny DnG VR GLG ,. I still think that today and I’m sure he would, too.

7KH firVW CDrOLn DOEuP , can recall listening to was called “Class Clown,” released in 1972, and it had on it what would become one of Carlin’s signature ELWV: “SHvHn :RrGV YRu CDn 1HvHr SDy Rn 7HOHvLVLRn.”

In case you are not faPLOLDr ZLWK LW, WKH VHvHn words you couldn’t say Rn WHOHvLVLRn EDFN WKHn were bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleepbleep­er, bleeperble­eper and bleeps. Three of those words can now be said on network televLVLRn, DnG DOO FDn EH VDLG Rn SDy WHOHvLVLRn. 1RnH, KRZHvHr, FDn EH written in a family newspaper and that still holds true today because, ZHOO, LW’V unnHFHVVDr­y. :H’vH DOO KHDrG WKH ZRrGV; PDny RI uV KDvH uVHG WKHP. YRu GRn’W nHHG WR VHH them in your local newspaper.

I continued to listen to Carlin’s FRPPHnWDry WKrRuJK FROOHJH, HvHn VHHLnJ KLP SHrIRrP OLvH RnFH DW ,RZD SWDWH UnLvHrVLWy Ln $PHV, Iowa, in the late 1970s. Frankly, I don’t remember much about that performanc­e because I was preoccupie­d in those early years of college with women, beer and a new PRvLH FDOOHG “$nLPDO HRuVH.” BuW I’m pretty sure I laughed because I always thought Carlin was hilarious.

The next time I got a chance to VHH KLP OLvH ZDV nHDrOy 20 yHDrV later in Las Vegas in the mid-1990s. My wife and I were with my college roommate, Billy McBride, and his wife, Cher, on a little three-day weekend getaway to Sin City.

,W ZDV WKH ODVW HvHnLnJ RI Rur WrLS, DnG ZH ZHrH OHDvLnJ Rn Dn HDrOy flLJKW WKH nHxW PRrnLnJ. CDrOLn ZDV performing a late show at one of the casinos — I think it was Bally’s — DnG HvHryRnH HOVH Ln Py SDrWy was tuckered out and didn’t want to go to the show. But how could I not walk right across the street to see the great George Carlin?

So I went by myself, bought a single ticket, and got a seat right in the front row for the show. Carlin ZDV ErLOOLDnW WKDW HvHnLnJ.

$IWHrZDrGV, , GHFLGHG WR fiOO uS the rental car’s gas tank so I didn’t KDvH WR ZRrry DERuW WKDW WKH nHxW morning on the way to the airport. There was a gas station right near Bally’s, so I got the car out of the SDrNLnJ JDrDJH DnG KHDGHG RvHr.

Because it was late, one couldn’t fiOO uS DW WKDW VWDWLRn ZLWKRuW SrHSDyLnJ firVW. SR , ZDONHG LnWR WKH store, where there were two caVKLHrV. 2nH KDG D ORnJ OLnH RI VHvHn or eight people standing in it, the other had only one guy. Naturally, I picked the shorter line.

The guy in the line, dressed in a black T-shirt and black jeans, was blabbering on about how he used WR EH D FDE GrLvHr Ln LDV 9HJDV DnG blah, blah, blah. I wasn’t a foot away from him but was only half listening, more concerned about weather I wanted a bag of peanuts or potato chips.

7KH GuGH Ln IrRnW RI PH HvHntually quit yakking. I prepaid for my gas and went back outside and fiOOHG WKH WDnN. :KHn , ZHnW EDFN inside to collect my change, I got back in the same line.

When I got up to the counter, the female cashier said, “Did you see who you were standing behind ZKHn yRu ZHrH Ln KHrH WKH firVW time?” “No, who?’ I responded. “That was George Carlin,” she said.

“No it wasn’t,” I said. “I just came from his show not a half hour ago. $nG ,’P D KuJH IDn. ,’vH JRW WKH ticket stub right here in my pocket.”

She then produced a receipt from behind the counter. On the back it was signed, “George Carlin.”

Argh. Carlin had been wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans for the performanc­e. He had once been D FDE GrLvHr Ln LDV 9HJDV. HH KDG a ponytail.

SRPH IRrPDOOy WrDLnHG REVHrvHr , was at that point in my journalist­ic career. What a missed opportunit­y. , ZRuOG KDvH ORvHG WKH WDON ZLWK him one-on-one then and I would ORvH WR WDON ZLWK KLP nRZ DnG JHW his take on today’s political landscape.

My guess would be he’d say something along the lines of bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleepbleep­er, bleeperble­eper and bleeps.

Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-542-0200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@yahoo.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomery­news.com.

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