Wife upset over being called fat
I am a large, overweight woman. I have been in the process of losing weight for more than five years. I got married three years ago to an amazing guy. He’s the sweetest man I have ever met.
Something he said recently really bothers me. He said he thinks I’m fat. While I know I’m fat — and admit it out loud — I never thought it was appropriate for your significant other to say it to you.
I am at a loss as to what to do because he is right, but it hurts my feelings that he not only thinks it but says it. What do you think? — Big Girl in Champaign, Ill.
If you call yourself fat, then it’s possible your husband didn’t think his doing so would hurt your feelings. Straighten him out. And when you do, tell him what other terms you would prefer he use (i.e., “big and beautiful,” “bountiful and bodacious,” etc.). HOROSCOPE
(March 21-April 19). At its simplistic essence, life is energy. Is this project worthy of the attention you’re giving?
(April 20-May 20). Many disparate elements converge and you’ll suddenly have a cohesive plan in your head. Put it on paper now while it’s fresh.
(May 21-June 21). When people can’t bear self-scrutiny they blame others. You don’t see the point, though.
(June 22-July 22). When you’re working there are rules. And when you’re just playing around there are even more rules, because the potential for getting hurt or hurting others is even greater in a seemingly unstructured playground.
(July 23-Aug. 22). Your first idea will be pretty good, but it’s not until you reach idea 10 or 12 that you’ll get to the next level, which is sheer gold.
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You weren’t expecting to be finished with a job early, and yet you’ll hit a point today where it seems to be dragging on beyond what is reasonable. This warrants a thoughtful communication with the others involved.
(Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Remember that bruise that mysteriously appeared? Emotional bruises also can have vague origins, but that doesn’t make them hurt any less or show up fainter.
(Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You’re joyfully aware of the best that’s in you. That doesn’t make you clueless or Pollyanna about the rest. You know of your darker potentials. But why focus on the
I’m 30 and have lived with my boyfriend, “Shane,” for two years. We have a good relationship. My problem is Shane’s use of social media. He takes a lot of pictures and posts them online while we’re together, but I am never in them and he never mentions that I’m there.
I am considering ending the relationship because of this. What do you think?
— Out of the Picture
That Shane has cultivated an image of himself online as fancy-free seems strange to me.
When you tell a person something bothers you, and that person not only doesn’t do something about it but blames you, it’s a red flag.
Contact www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Find more columns from Carolyn Hax and other columnists on advice.azcentral.com. shadows, when there’s so much to do in the light?
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A figure from your past will be a figure in your future. There’s a reason you parted and a reason you reconnected. Just be careful not to let nostalgia cloud your vision.
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You want a broader repertoire, and you’re willing to put in the practice time to get it. This isn’t going to come together over night, but if you work on it each day you’ll soon have something very impressive.
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Ask the others how they’re doing and you’ll suddenly feel pretty good about your own baggage. The mere newness and novelty of another person’s problems seems to subtract pounds from your own.
(Feb. 19-March 20). One way to stop a torturous temptation from having power over you is to give into it. The other methods will include you going far out of your way to avoid even having to look at or think about the thing.
(July 28). Domestic improvements will align your head and heart. You’ll find new ways to relate to your loved ones and build better relationships all year long. A short trip at the end of the year will favorably alter your destiny. The financial highs will come with hard work and shrewd decisions in October, November and May. Capricorn and Pisces adore you. Your lucky numbers are: 5, 16, 20, 48 and 33. 10 14 15 Hoop’s place Fill with Old Dodge model Comics canine Shinbone Resinous substances 19 Enjoy a hot tub 20 Laurel and Getz 21 Exporters 23 Depot info 25 Mao — -tung 26 Dance floor need 29 Bounder 32 Physicist Nikola
— 37 Tribute in verse 38 Bosses, briefly 39 Fatty fish 40 Right on! (3 wds.) 43 Travolta film 44 Truckers’ semis 45 Peggy or Brenda 46 Alabama town 47 Offshore 48 Yukon, briefly 49 Ugh! 51 — degree 53 Cadging 58 Specks 16 17 18 67 68 69 70 Inner self, to Jung Lunar phenomenon Attention getter Chute material DOWN 1 Peach centers 2 Radiate 3 “Fernando” group Totaled Baker’s need Encyc. sections Far East nanny Stir up Mispronounces Be defeated Garbage bin output Slant Cartoon shriek Magnolia parts Quibble Deep bell tones Light incense to 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 22 24 26 27 07-28-16 28 Banister post 30 Puckster Bobby
— 31 Tech-support callers Wapiti Compliment feedback Solitude enjoyer Emotional heat Stained-glass art “Cosmos” host Popeye’s verb? Standoff Stiff-coated dogs 33 34 35 36 38 39 41 42 47 50 52 53 54 55 56 57 59 60 61 62 Trophy winner Largest moon of Saturn Sorvino of films Gem of superstition Peace Prize city Hockey goals No-see-um Follow BB shot Reach across Like, stupid!