2. Accept trade-offs

But most of us misuse the term. So let’s be clear about what work-life balance is not:

It’s not a simple measure of our time. We often tell ourselves that if we’re working more than 40 hours a week, our lives are out of balance. That’s often the case but not universally true. Some people are perfectly content working 50 hours a week, while others feel overwhelmed at 35.

Work-life balance also isn’t solely a matter of using your time more efficiently. We erroneously believe that if we are better schedulers, or if we work smarter and not harder, we’ll be able to give equal billing to everything that’s important to us.

But there are still only 24 hours a day, and time travel still isn’t a thing. Try as we might, it’s physically impossible to work 10 hours a day, sleep the recommended eight and split another eight between our kids, our spouses, our friends and ourselves.

What work-life balance is

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working at home with a 2-year-old, it’s the constant need to dial back what I think I can accomplish in a day. And dial it back. And dial it back. And when I think I’ve dialed it back enough, I often find myself dialing it back again.

That’s tough. Our culture rewards industriousness. There’s a certain cachet in being busy — and, for Type A personalities especially, a certain fulfillment in crossing things off our internal agendas.

But there is perhaps nothing more dangerous than thinking we can have it all.

Working moms have especially bought into this lie: We pressure ourselves to “lean in” at work, make every one of our kids’ soccer games, put healthy and home-cooked food on the table, and keep a spotless house.

We can’t. Yet we try. And beat ourselves up when we fail.

That’s not healthy, and it has to stop.

The corollary to the above is that some life decisions, such as going back to school or having kids, come with trade-offs. These can be positive, rewarding pursuits, ones that improve our lives for years to come.

But our time will be stretched and limited in ways we can’t expect when we enroll or become pregnant. Know this, and set expectations accordingly.

Actually, this is so important that I will repeat it. You. Cannot. Have. It. All.

How do we build margins into our lives? Well, for one, we need to know our limits. We need to know what we can take on without adding unnecessary stress. And we need to know when to say no.

This is more art than science, admittedly. But too many people continue to pile things onto their schedules, assuming they can rise to the occasion or that everything will miraculously fall into place.

It rarely does. And then things that truly matter fall through the cracks.

Maybe we’re afraid to say no, particularly to a superior or a friend. But we’re not doing anyone any favors when we finish their tasks more tired, frazzled and burned out than we were when we started.

Be honest with yourself and others about your workload.

5. Prioritize (and do it often)

Which leads to the final tip: prioritizing what’s most important and periodically re-evaluating how we spend our time. Most of us work for fulfillment as much as for the paycheck. But are there other areas of life that are equally important and consistently getting a short shrift? If so, what can be scaled back or go on hiatus to make time for those things?

Don’t fall for the fallacy that we can achieve work-life balance, as if it’s a one-and-done kind of thing. It’s not. Our lives are constantly changing, as obligations move into and out of our daily routines and go up and down in importance.

And give yourself some grace. We all fail at life some days: We miss important meetings. Go to work without deodorant. Completely forget to pay a bill and get charged a late fee.

It’s OK. If the world did not end for the “BBC dad,” whose kids barged in on his live TV interview, it won’t end because you didn’t bake those gluten-free cupcakes for school.

Just remember that tomorrow is a new day. Rest and try again.

How do you find work-life balance? Tell us about your triumphs and challenges, and share with us your hacks for balancing all that you do. Email opinions @arizonarepublic.com, or share your ideas on Twitter using the hashtag #lifehacks.