Abused wife fears being alone
I’ve been married to my second husband for 14 years. He’s a great provider, but mentally and emotionally abusive. I want to leave him, but I’m scared to live on my own. We both work. He makes a lot of money, but I do not. I’m miserable. He wanted us to be swingers and I finally gave in, and now it’s all I hear about. I don’t want to do it, but he doesn’t care what I want. I feel like I’m wasting my life. I’m 43. I had to have emergency surgery and almost didn’t make it, and he resented me for it. Why can’t I leave him? Why am I so scared? — Wasting Away In The South
Some people are afraid of the unknown, and you appear to be one of them. Because your husband has been coercing you into having sex with other men, I recommend you contact a support organization such as RAINN (www.rainn.org); its toll-free phone number is 800-656-HOPE (4673). Someone there can guide you in making HOROSCOPE
(March 21-April 19). As you interact with the people around you today, you’ll recognize that this is not your average crew. There will be enormous rewards for your gracious management of a wide swath of traits, talents, crotchets and flaws.
(April 20-May 20). People will ask you the questions they wish you would ask them. Therefore, don’t waste your time trying to craft the right answer. Instead, turn it around and quickly get to the point of the discourse.
(May 21-June 21). Can you keep your original shape under the crushes of conformity? Well, you’re not sure that you’d want to do so. Today, you will mostly be enriched by the influence of others. You’re too strong to be changed very much anyway.
(June 22-July 22). An interesting story will become even more compelling today. The thrill you get from learning will override any initial fear or self-consciousness you may feel in asking questions.
(July 23-Aug. 22). Being too involved with a person or project causes distortions of reality; intimate knowledge of the minutiae blinds you to the big picture. Paradoxically, you’ll have to step back in order to get closer.
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Make the choice that feels right. You don’t know where it will lead, and right now, no one will tell you. Unlike a jealous sibling who might spoil a surprise meant for you, the universe wants to delight in your startling glee.
(Sept. 23-Oct. 23). When you are in love, no an escape plan.I also urge you to talk about this with an attorney, because you should not be penniless if you leave. What your husband has been doing is a form of spousal abuse, and between you and me, it shouldn’t take more than five seconds of self-evaluation to conclude that you would be better off without him.
Today, I’m proud to announce a scholarship program for aspiring young writers. The Dear Abby College Columnist Scholarship Program and Contest, administered by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists Education Foundation, will recognize and encourage the work of undergraduates writing bylined columns for their college newspapers. For information, visit dearabby.com/scholarship.
— Abby
Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips. Contact her at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. words, no touch, no eyes and no embrace can match those of your beloved. You’ll find yourself in a similar “no substitutions” situation today.
(Oct. 24-Nov. 21). It’s not that you want your life to look like a magazine. But that might be the end result as you seek a sense of physical, visual and emotional harmony in your environment. Much will be achieved to this end.
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21). History is like a purse you can rummage through to find useful information and tools, such as lenses that will change the way you see your world. Just remember that the past is for remembering or discovering, not for living in.
(Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Information carries no special quality within itself. It has to be put to use to impact the world. If it is ignored, it may as well not exist. For this reason, today, you’ll be sure to act on what you know.
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It will be better to connect your ideas than to protect them. The involvement of supporters and challengers will speed up and sharpen your process.
(Feb. 19-March 20). Going with the flow is a specialty of yours, but not today. You and you alone will decide when to go.
(March 29). You are greatly and widely beloved. You’ll influence many in a quiet way. Lucky numbers are 7, 42, 21, 29 and 38. 9 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 22 24 26 27 30 35 36 37 38 39 42 43 45 46 48 50 51 Drab color Cookie Bumstead’s neighbor “Born Free” lioness Legally binding Author’s must Leave a mark Get melodramatic Likes instantly (2 wds.) Unaffected Dish with saffron Chill Fuel rating Looks radiant (2 wds.) Gnu hunters Time long past Vend Famous mummy Tiredly Motorist no. “La — Bonita” (Madonna) — Kristofferson Lieutenant under Kirk Arrivals (hyph.) Savory smells Turned tail 68 69 70 71 Fit of pique Accountant, at times Element 79 Lacking DOWN 1 Govt. branch 2 “A-Tisket, A-Tasket” singer On a rampage Tablet Get cozy Aluminum giant Youth org. Mystery writer — Paretsky Gripe Small villages Lotion additive Baby beavers March date Tendon Bright star in Orion Orchid supplier 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 21 23 25 3-29-17 27 28 29 31 32 33 34 36 40 41 44 47 49 Telescope lens Hug tight Champ’s claim Rainbow goddess Vaccine Extremely Entreaties It’s spun Making do Nomad dwellings Land Party thrower Crusty roll 50 53 54 55 56 57 59 60 61 64 Off course Everyday Pro — (in proportion) Extra dry Provide temporarily Dangle Long-active volcano Weather outlook JFK jets of yore Earth, in combos