CAROLYN HAX

Dear Carolyn: I am a middle-age white female who works in a retail setting with colleagues whose skin tones are every color imaginable. I respect my coworkers and they respect me.

Our company generally does whatever makes the customer happy. But this is the South, and because I am white, other white people think I am a safe place for their coded racist remarks. Yesterday, a customer remarked to me that she had to move to a city up north because, “when you have a very pale, blond, blue-eyed daughter, you have to get her out of ‘our diversely populated city,’ if you know what I mean.”

It caught me completely off-guard, and she breezed away before I could process what she said.

I need my job, but this has to stop. I want to make a stand, but how can I confront covert racism on the company dime? — Not at Liberty to Speak

I can’t wait for the day when emboldened racists realize their moment is over and they need to slither back under their rocks.

Until then, I suggest you have some employment-friendly responses handy. “I beg your pardon?” for example, is deceptively powerful. Feigned ignorance is a well-known expression of disgust — code for code — plus, forcing someone to repeat their ugly words is encouragement to rethink them.

If you’re not to the point of quitting (but feeling out other jobs, I hope), your preparation can and should include consulting your supervisor. “Whatever makes the customer happy” does not translate simplistically into “Ignore customers’ racist remarks.” For one thing, another customer could easily witness an employee’s non-response to such a remark and choose to shop elsewhere.

And, a company will struggle to serve customers if its staff has poor morale and high turnover.