Lessons learned in the 5 years since Aurora massacre

You know how it is with anniversaries. We’re really good at commemorating the one-year mark. The memories are still fresh, I suppose. The grief has not yet subsided. The criminal case may not yet have been resolved. Then there’s a pause. Anniversaries two, three and four are acknowledged, but quietly. There’s usually a little more attention paid when we get to Year 5.

Thursday was the fifth anniversary of an attack that left 12 people dead and 70 others injured when a gunman opened fire inside a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, during a midnight showing of the Batman film “The Dark Knight Rises.”

During those intervening years, I have spoken a number of times to the parents of one of the victims. His name was Alex Teves. His parents, Tom and Caren, live in the Valley. They remain grieving parents. That never goes away. But they also are strong, active proponents of common-sense firearms legislation. And common-sense journalism, too.

During the prosecution of the Aurora killer, Tom Teves asked the media not to mention the murderer’s name or give him the publicity he sought.

“Stop showing cowards and start showing heroes,” he said, “so that another father doesn’t feel the hole in his body that I have and I know will never go away.”

I stopped mentioning the killer’s name after that.

Suggesting things that might help to reduce the number of mass shootings in the country is not an easy path. Tom and Caren have had to face off a number of times with the National Rifle Association and the powerful gun lobby.

They’re wonderful people. Their son was a wonderful young man. He graduated from Desert Vista High School and the University of Arizona. He died protecting a girlfriend from the gunfire. He was killed by a crazed gunman five years ago in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, along with Jonathan Blunk, Alex Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer, Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan and Rebecca Wingo.

Mass shootings have become so common, so expected, that in dealing with them we now follow a predictable routine. We have developed a protocol.

We begin with expressions of shock and anger. Then there is argument over what can be done. Then there is resignation that our political leaders — kowtowing to the gun lobby — will do nothing. Again.

Then, time passes. We dutifully mark the one-year anniversary. The memories are still fresh, I suppose. The grief has not yet subsided. The criminal case may not yet have been resolved. Then there’s a pause. Anniversaries two, three and four will be acknowledged, but quietly.

There’s usually a little more attention paid when we get to Year 5.