Son’s drug habit causes crisis

Dear Abby: I have been married to a loving and supportive man for 15 years. We have been through a lot together and, for the most part, have been OK. My problem is my son, “Kyle.”

Yes, I know Kyle is a liar who steals anything not nailed down. And yes, he needs help for his drug habit — but he is still my son.

My husband told me I either tell Kyle he is not welcome in our home or our marriage is over, so I gave him back my wedding ring. I refuse to tell my son he can’t come over.

What do I do now? I don’t want to lose my husband, but I refuse to lose my son as well. — Torn in Two in Tulsa Dear Torn in Two: If you love your son and your husband and value your marriage, you will tell your husband you spoke hastily and ask for the ring back. Then, you will finally put your foot down and stop enabling Kyle to continue his drug habit.

Tell Kyle he is no longer welcome in the house, and will be welcome to cross your threshold only if he has completed rehab and is willing to make amends. This is called creating boundaries. It may be painful, but it is important that you find the strength and courage to do this because your son’s life may depend on it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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