Family’s verbal abuse is red flag

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. In the beginning, he kept his family and me apart. I thought it was because they were extremely close, but turns out he was doing me a favor given their inappropriate and cruel treatment of one another.

At my boyfriend’s birthday lunch, his father called his mother the worst possible word anyone could call a female. My boyfriend and his sisters didn’t seem fazed by his verbal abuse. I worry his parents’ toxic and unloving relationship is something he will eventually settle for in life. Is it possible for children not to emulate their parents’ example, or should I move on? — Not in the Family Dear Not in the Family: Children do not automatically follow the abysmal patterns set by their parents. However, if you and this man are serious and you are contemplating a future with him, I strongly recommend that before formalizing your relationship, you seek premarital counseling together to avoid any unpleasant surprises.

Dear Abby: I’m usually well-spoken and articulate with family and close friends. But when talking to strangers or potential employers, I tend to choke up and make no sense at all. I become anxious and forget what I want to say. Do you have any ideas why this happens? — Talker in The West Dear Talker: It may happen because you suffer from a form of social anxiety — one shared by many people. Fortunately, there’s help for it if you consult a mental health professional. Because it is interfering with employment opportunities, you shouldn’t wait.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.