Husband isn’t the baby’s father
Dear Abby: I am a mother of three and happily married to my kids’ father. I am now seven months pregnant with my fourth baby, but this child is not my husband’s. My husband is a loving man and a good father. My problem is, I don’t know how to tell him I’m not carrying his baby. The man I slept with is married and always saying he wants to marry me. He has one son with his wife. I love my kids, and I still love my husband. How can I tell him the truth without tearing my family apart? — Big Mistake Dear Big Mistake: Not knowing your husband, I can’t guess at how he will react when you break the news. I’m sure he won’t be pleased to hear it. Regardless, he must be told, so do it at a time when it’s calm and quiet. I am sure he will have many questions — among them, whether you plan to continue a relationship with the child’s father.
Because this may have legal ramifications, discuss this with an attorney.
Dear Abby: I talked with one of my siblings about having a joint vacation. He suggested all of us get together with our spouses and go on one together. We discussed locations and had a family meeting to discuss the possibility. We’re all in our 50s or older, and some of us have health issues.
There has always been a lot of bickering between some of us because of control issues. I explained to everyone that we can make our requests for locations, activities, etc., but we all need to be willing to give a little. The bickering is continuing, and some unkind things were said about others. I just want to plan a fun vacation and have a good time, but I’m worried the negativity will carry over to the vacation. I worry that this may be a last chance for all of us to be together. Any suggestions on how to handle this sticky situation? — In Vacation Mode Dear Vacation Mode: Taking into consideration the family dynamics you have described, it’s wishful thinking to believe you can control the way your siblings relate to each other. My suggestion would be to invite only those siblings who can get along with each other and see the other ones separately.