What a relief — another question about passing gas

Today’s question:

Dogs don’t seem to “pass gas” like humans do. But when they do ... “Oh my!” Why is this?

You people probably wouldn’t admit it at Bible study class, but you love columns about farts. Don’t deny it. One of the biggest responses I ever got to a column was one I did about the etiquette of farting in bed.

Dogs do indeed seem to have mastered the art of being flatulent silently. If I had to guess at an evolutionary explanation for this it would be that it was in a predator’s best interest to be as quiet as possible while going about its business.

The fact of the matter is that dogs and cats just don’t generate enough intestinal gas to lead to a loud, explosive release.

Also, the digestive system of a dog or cat is arranged horizontally and thus does not put as much pressure on the … umm … release point.

As to that “Oh, my” factor, dogs and cats tend to eat a lot of protein and soy, both of which increase the smell factor.

When you get on an elevator, does it really speed it up to push the button more than one time? Of course not.

Each button works one switch. Once the switch is activated, pushing the button again makes no difference.

Why do we do it anyway? Impatience, I suppose, or maybe just the need to do something.

I am told that there are sophisticated systems that will decide, based on the number of times the buttons are pushed, whether there is too much weight in the elevator.