little minds need a lot of FUSS

There’s another problem contributing to the rise in school shootings: Disengaged youth

My husband and I had a kindergartner when a gunman killed 27 at Sandy Hook Elementary School. My stomach was in my throat all day, and I couldn’t stop crying that night.

This week, our daughter becomes a teenager, and a major conversation around the dinner table is her upcoming high school years. The number of school shootings over the last few years, most of them at high schools, scares me like nothing else. Our daughter has expressed her fear, and I can’t imagine what that feels like during an already hard emotional and hormonal time in a young person’s life.

Our students, teachers, clubs sponsors, coaches or administrators should not fear for their lives in one of the places that they should feel safest. And parents shouldn’t have to tell their children that “those silly lockdown drills that disrupt class” might one day save their lives. Or won’t.

While gun control and mental health treatment are at the top of the conversations, I’m proposing something else to consider: Disengaged youth.

The teenage shooters of these horrific acts against their classmates and teachers are dis-

engaged from their school and everyone in it. They lack school pride. They do not feel seen by the adults there. They do not share positive experiences with their classmates.

My freshman year of high school was a challenging one. I moved to a new neighborhood, started at a new school where I didn’t know a single person, then moved again and rode the city bus to get to that school.

And I became an orphan.

I lost my dad to suicide when I was 10. Even though my mom had finally kicked her drug and alcohol addiction, it was too late. The years of abuse had taken their toll. Trying to navigate this major life event as a 15-year-old is a lot to handle.

But two days a week I got to end my day with dance team. That after school creative outlet gave me a place to release my anger and fear. I looked forward to those two days more than anything.

I met my best friends there and had a teacher who encouraged me and guided me. My future husband ran the sound for the recital. For a scared and confused teenager, it was my whole world.

Participation in clubs and sports provides a direct and meaningful way for students to be engaged at their school. Engaged students have an outlet. Engaged students don’t act out in extreme response. Engaged students don’t shoot up their school.

Consider:

1. Engaged students connect with other students on campus with common interests. This gives them a sense

of belonging — no matter their interest. Whether they are a football player, a theater kid, a chess player or active in student government — they have a community of fellow classmates who have passion for the same thing.

2. Engaged students have high selfesteem and don’t feel like an “outcast.” This directly reduces teen depression and in turn reduces their tendencies to act on those feelings.

3. Engaged students connect with

adults in their club sponsors and coaches. Having someone to talk to and confide in, besides a family member, provides an opportunity for students to share their thoughts, feelings and frustrations with a trusted mentor and can alleviate a build up of anger.

4. Engaged students are busy and involved. This leaves little to no time to engage in crime and other destructive behaviors. Teen crime skyrockets between 3 to 6 p.m. and if they are consumed with productive options, the laundry list of other options on the table is not available.

There is plenty of research validating the importance of extracurricular activities. But more importantly, I’ve seen it and experienced it myself. Participating in clubs and sports provides life changing experiences and opportunities for teens. They are crucial for students with troubled family histories, economic hardship or other obstacles that may set them at a disadvantage.

Participation in clubs and sports can also spark an interest in a potential career, teaches leadership, cooperation and perseverance, and can be the catalyst for college scholarships.

My work through Support My Club is a testament of my goal: Equipped students to be an engaged at their school — whether it is academics, activities, arts or athletics.

High school students are often misunderstood, but they are in fact undergoing a time in their life where every emotion is exaggerated.

We need to have hard conversations with our children, but we also need to remember that they are still teenagers. They need to be busy, be mentored, be engaged. After all, the devil makes work for idle hands.