Hot-weather limericks inspired sweat-stained poets

This column was originally published June 30, 2003:

I am beginning to wonder if this limerick contest was a good idea. I had no idea you people would be so prolific. I must have about 400 of them by now.

Some of them are pretty good; others, well, you know the expression, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”? That doesn’t apply to writing limericks. Here are a few examples:

I think summer days are salubrious. So why are Phoenicians lugubrious? It’s too hot to go out?

They eat in and grow stout. Their rationale is most dubious.

* What do you think? It’s not bad.

* Ninety degrees is the low.

At least there’s no worry of snow. One twenty’s the high.

I’m soon gonna cry.

‘Cause my AC’s not cold and won’t blow.

* At least it all rhymes.

* There was a guy new to the state Whose cleverness was his best trait. His car baked in the heat

So he bought some raw meat. And cooked it up there on a plate.

* You should see ones I’m not using. Like the one about the nun.

* The gentleman caused quite a fracas When he tried to back into a cactus. He gave this reply

When he was asked why, “Darn, that really takes practice.”

* OK, so that one didn’t have anything to do with hot weather.

* A sweet southern girl named Wilona Took a tour of Tempe, Arizona. She scoffed at the heat

Till she hopped in her seat

And ejected half way to Winona.

* Well, that’s enough of that