Some of that motherly wisdom was a lot of malarkey

From June 15, 2005:

Today’s question:

When we were growing up, our mothers would not let us swim for an hour after we ate, claiming we would get cramps and drown. Can you tell us how this started?

Gee, I’d forgotten about that. She wasn’t kidding, either. It was an hour right down to the last minute, even if all you’d had to eat was an apple or something. Eat an apple and get in the pool without waiting an hour, and you were guaranteed to sink like a stone.

How did it get started? I don’t think anybody knows. It got started the same way that “If you keep crossing your eyes, they’ll get stuck like that” got started, I guess. Just a pearl of motherly wisdom.

There is something to it. You wouldn’t want to do any serious swimming after eating a big meal anymore than you want to go running or do any other strenuous exercise. It would divert the blood away from your stomach to your muscles just when your stomach needs help with digestion. But there isn’t any problem if you just want to get in the pool and paddle around a bit.

Did your mother tell you to rub butter on a burn? She was wrong about that, too. Putting butter or grease on a burn holds the heat in and makes it worse.

Did she tell you you would catch your death of cold if you went outside in the winter with wet hair? Not so.

Feed a fever, starve a cold. Or is it starve a fever, feed a cold? Either way, Mom missed the boat on that one, too. When you’re sick your body needs energy to fight whatever it is that’s ailing you.

Did she tell you that if you swallowed your chewing gum it would stay in your stomach for seven years? Malarkey.

Coffee will stunt your growth? Kids probably get enough caffeine as it is, but there is nothing about coffee that will slow your rate of growth.

Your mother was right about running with scissors, an apple a day and damaging your hearing by listening to loud music.

And you’re not fat. You’re big-boned.