Nighttime lights draw confused grasshopper swarms

From May 31, 2003:

I just heard a great new expression or at least it’s new to me. I’m usually the last to hear these things. The other day one of my girls yelled at me because I used the word “jiggy.” Apparently fathers are not permitted to use such language.

Anyway, it’s “walking piñata.” It means someone who is subject to a torrent of criticism or perhaps bad luck. That’s great, isn’t it? I wonder if piñatacized is a word?

However, that is not the word for today. The word for today is “relax” as in, “People, just relax and stop fussing about the grasshoppers.”

For the past week I’ve been getting up to a dozen calls or e-mails a day about the creatures.

So I put this matter to Carl Olson, the University of Arizona bug man.

Anyway, this is what’s happening: People are coming across swarms of pallid-wing grasshoppers, a species that lies low over the winter and turns out for the spring and summer.

Pallid-wing grasshoppers fly and feed at night and take their bearings from the celestial lights. However, when they’re flying along and come across a lighted field like a park or a ball field or something, they get confused and land in a big swarm and start milling around, eating or mating or whatever it is grasshoppers do to pass the time.

When the sun rises, they disband and find some place to hide out until it’s dark and they can fly around again.

One of the grasshopper notes I got was from a guy who wanted to know if bats eat grasshoppers. They eat all sorts of insects, so I don’t know why they wouldn’t eat grasshoppers.

If you are planning on eating grasshoppers, cook them first. They can be infested with nematodes. I don’t know what would happen if you ate an uncooked nematode, but why take a chance?

I would not eat a grasshopper on the worst day of my life, but I am told they are quite tasty when deep-fried and a good source of protein.