Widow returns to the dating pool

Dear Abby: I was widowed seven years ago. When my husband died, I thought it was the end of my suffering. It had been a mentally and physically abusive marriage for 30 years.

I have decided to start dating again. I want to meet someone and hopefully feel loved. I joined a dating website, but the men on it look disturbed and creepy. I have no friends, and I feel like I’m dying. I’m 57. Where are all the good men? I am at a loss.

My boss told me I should consider dating women since I have had no luck meeting men. She is pushing me into meeting her lesbian friend. Her friend was in an abusive marriage, and her husband is no longer in her life. Abby, I’m shocked that she would even suggest it.

I’m considering quitting my job because it’s awkward being around my boss. She started joking about it with other co-workers until I told her to stop bringing up the subject. Please help.

Dear Longing: It’s time to join some different dating sites and enlarge your pool of dating prospects. However, when you do, keep in mind that your marital history may have negatively affected your judgment about men.

That said, if I ever heard about creating a hostile work environment, what your boss did is a textbook example and should have been discussed with HR. “Joking” about an employee’s sexuality is considered to be both discriminatory and a form of sexual harassment. Her behavior was beyond the pale, and you should start looking for another job.