TELL ME ABOUT IT

Dear Carolyn: My ex-wife and I divorced 21 years ago. I had a one-night stand and she told me to hit the road. I married the one-night stand and that marriage did not work.

During my dad’s recent funeral, which she attended, she came up to me and said she “still could not forgive” me.

We had one son together, and over the years we have been together for milestones in his life. He has been highly successful in his career, but his current job is stressful. He confided both to his mom and me that he has had some very dark thoughts, including of suicide. He is getting professional help.

I called the ex and suggested the three of us sit down to do whatever we can to help him. She responded that she could not do that due to her hatred of me.

I think we need to be a united front for his wellbeing. What can I do?

I am so sorry to hear your son is in crisis. No doubt you are terrified – and the impulse to work together as a family to help him was a good one.

Unfortunately, to the question of creating a united front, you already have your answer: No with a capital No.

So, it’ll have to be Plan B. Which is: Be present, be loving, be respectful of your son’s needs and boundaries, and, just as important right now, #BeThe1To has good, accessible information on “5 steps” to get you started, at www.bethe1to.com. Also: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-2738255.