It’s easy: Put the person ahead of any disability

Think of the person first. My friend Amy Silverman says that’s the easiest way to know how best to talk about disability and people with disabilities.

She has a daughter Sophie, who’s 15 and has Down syndrome, not a Down syndrome daughter. Because a person’s disability doesn’t define who they are.

Amy understands sometimes it is hard to know what to say. People feel awkward or unsure, so they don’t say anything for fear of offending someone.

She recently updated a language style guide for the National Center on Disability and Journalism at ASU’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism. A journalist for nearly 30 years, she said it was one of the toughest assignments she’s ever had. The guide is designed to help journalists writing about disability, but it works for everyone.

Most people have figured out the word “retarded” is outdated and offensive to people with intellectual disabilities. But it’s about more than the rword. Defining people by only their disabilities dehumanizes them, which makes it easier to discriminate against them. So, use what is called “peoplefirst” language.

A musician who is blind. A psychologist who is deaf. A student with autism.

And it is more complicated than that. Because some in the autism community prefer the term “autistics.” For them, autism is not a negative.

So Amy started with A for “able-bodied,” a term used to describe someone who does not have a disability. It can be insulting because it implies that all people with disabilities lack “able bodies.” Use “non-disabled.”

Dwarf, not midget. Hard of hearing, not hearing impaired.

She ended with W for “wheelchair user,” not “wheelchair-bound.” For many, wheelchairs are liberating, a way to be independent.

If you’re not sure what words to use, or unsure whether to offer assistance or shake hands with someone with a disability, ask.

It might be awkward but so what? “Life,” Amy said, “is awkward.”