Court-appointed special advocate offers stability
It’s the few beats that pass before reacting. It’s the pause before speaking. It is, literally, the punch not thrown.
These are the things that Heather Varela says makes her time and effort in the child-welfare system so worthwhile.
For the last two years, she’s been a court-appointed special advocate. Her role as a CASA is to advocate in Juvenile Court for children who have been removed from their homes by the Department of Child Safety.
She is required to report to the court on how the child is faring, drawing from her personal interaction with the child, what she reads in the case file and what she observes in the child’s living situation.
It’s a job somewhere between being the child’s buddy and his attorney. “I like to say I’m like an aunt, or for some of the kids that are older, an annoying big sister,” Varela said. Most importantly, her role is to stick with the child, listening and counseling and sometimes just being, until his DCS case is closed.
“I think it’s made me more patient.” Heather Varela Court-appointed special advocate
“A CASA is a constant, and that becomes very beneficial to a child as they grow and develop,” she said.
She’s seen the benefit of that constancy. It happened one day while she was riding in a car with a pre-teen girl who is her “CASA kiddo.”
“She was retelling how she had had an altercation with a boy at the place where she was living, and how in the past she would have gone after him, maybe punched him,” Varela said of her hot-headed charge.
But this time, the outcome was different. Even the girl’s vocabulary was different.
“She said ‘I’m so proud of myself. Because I just kind of stood back and said, “Wow, I would have just pounded that kid before, but now I’m taking a minute to think about it.” I’m still really mad at him. But I didn’t hit him and that’s a big deal for me.’ ”
It was a big deal for Varela, too. It showed her that this pre-teen had learned a few things about managing her feelings, and she was putting those lessons to use.
She’d also apparently learned some new vocabulary.
“She used the word ‘self-reflection,’ ” Varela said of the girl’s account of how she dealt with the situation. “Coming out of an 11-year-old’s mouth, that made me smile.”
A parent of four children in a blended family, Varela said her experience has helped her in her CASA duties, where she deals with five children from two different families. But it works the other way around, too: Her CASA experience has made her a better parent to her kids.
“I think it’s made me more patient,” she said. And more curious. Getting to know a child you’ve never met before means asking a lot of questions, drawing them out.
Her hope is to instill confidence in the child she’s working with, to let them know a caring adult is looking out for them.
“For some of these kids, the reality is their parents are never going to be that for them,” she said.
More than once, she has heard the question: Why doesn’t my mom love me enough to change? Why doesn’t my dad love me enough to change?
“What I try to tell my kids is there isn’t a parent in the world who doesn’t love their child,” Varela said. “But some parents aren’t able to love themselves enough to be able to show that to you.”
But that doesn’t mean they’re not loved. As a CASA, she’s there to help fill that void.
“You need to look within yourself for all the reasons that you are valuable,” Varela said she tells her CASA kids, starting to wipe away tears. “And let me tell you what I see in you that’s valuable. Let me tell you why I love spending time with you.”