Mom doesn’t wait for invitation

Dear Abby: I gave birth to my daughter three months ago, after 44 grueling hours of labor. My mother, assuming I would want her in the delivery room, booked her flight, flew across the country and stayed at my house without asking.

During her stay, she made comments about how she had flown 2,000 miles to “dog-sit” for me, that she knew she wasn’t wanted, and had she known my daughter wasn’t going to come on time (I was induced), she wouldn’t have “wasted her vacation” to fly in early. The entire visit was miserable.

Without consulting my husband and me, she has now booked a flight to come and stay with us for Christmas. I’m dreading the thought of her being here and worried this visit will be just as awful as the last.

I asked my mother to change her flights and come in after the holiday, only to be met with the accusation “you’re being selfish” from her and my stepfather.

Dear Pushed: It appears you not only have a pushy mother, but also one who has no filter. When she made the comments she did when she came to “help” after the delivery, did you tell her how offended you were? If you didn’t tell her how you felt, you have a communication problem.

Give your mother one more chance. Welcome her and your stepfather at Christmas and, if she makes a demeaning or unkind comment, CALL her on it!