Have you thrown your Christmas tree in the pool yet?

From Dec. 7, 2001:

I have in front of me a question from a lady who wants to know why Scotch tape won’t stick to butter.

Why do you suppose she wants to know? What do you think she has been doing? Why would she want to tape butter? The mind boggles.

However, there is no time for such foolishness today, because we are going to take up the topic of Christmas traditions — caroling, visiting loved ones, baking cookies, throwing the Christmas tree into the swimming pool.

I had never heard of the last one until I got a letter from a woman whose husband wants to soak their Christmas tree in the pool for a couple of days before putting it up. She sounded quite worried about this.

I have never thrown a Christmas tree into a swimming pool, so I don’t know what effect, if any, the needles would have on the pool filter.

Bob Khan, a deputy chief in the Phoenix Fire Department, has never thrown a Christmas tree into a pool either, but has heard of the practice and said it’s a good way to hydrate the tree before putting it up. Make a fresh cut on the end first.

Christmas trees are, of course, just big stacks of kindling waiting for a match, so anything you can do to keep them from drying up is good.

The traditional method of hacking a couple inches off the bottom and standing the tree in water isn’t very helpful, Khan said, because in a couple of days the sap coagulates in the cut and the tree doesn’t draw any water.

Khan has a new plan this year: Drill a hole an inch or so deep near the middle of the tree. Suspend a bag of water in the tree — the decorations will cover it — and then run a tube from the bag to the hole. Sap won’t fill up the hole, and the tree will have a steady supply of water.

I don’t know, but I’m guessing you could get something like an IV bag in the medical supplies section of a drugstore.

Or maybe you could rig up a hot water bottle somehow. That might work.

You figure it out. I’m going to tape up some butter.