Foster mother claims Payson camp refused to admit transgender boy

“Having one youth not come — we do not take that lightly. Obviously, from the beginning we were trying to make this work, but we felt we didn’t have the proper training and experience to have a great experience for that youth.”

The foster mother of a 9-year-old transgender boy claims her son was discriminated against after a Payson summer camp refused to permit him to attend, but the camp’s CEO maintains that the only reason for the refusal was a lack of staff training and experience with LGBTQ issues.

Amber Checky, of Phoenix, first registered her foster son for Tonto Creek Camp, formerly known as Camp Tontozona, in April after he received a full scholarship from Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation.

Checky said she was transparent with the camp about her son’s need for accommodations, and offered resources to the camp that she thought would help educate them on LGBTQ issues.

Camp CEO Tom Fraker responded by saying the camp would pursue ways they could accommodate the boy, he told The Arizona Republic on Wednesday.

Checky said the camp initially suggested her son sleep away from the other campers in a tent. Fraker said he did not recall that conversation and said the camp “does not have kids sleep in a tent by themselves.”

An arrangement was agreed, but situation changed later

Checky emailed camp officials to discuss other options and both parties eventually reached a new deal in early May — her son would sleep in the boy’s cabin but would use a separate shower area.

Nearly two months had passed when Checky said she received an email on June 24 saying that a staff member with “a degree in this” would no longer be attending camp and her son was not permitted to attend.

When she pressed further, Checky said camp officials told her this employee had a degree in diversity studies from Wheaton College, which currently ranks eighth on the Princeton Review’s list of LGBTQ-unfriendly schools.

When asked to confirm where the degree was from, Fraker said he doesn’t think the school the employee attended is “really important.”

He added that he wanted the entire camp staff to be trained how to interact with LGBTQ youth before permitting the boy to attend to ensure he would have a “positive experience.”

“Having one youth not come — we do not take that lightly,” Fraker said. “Obviously, from the beginning we were trying to make this work, but we felt we didn’t have the proper training and experience to have a great experience for that youth.”

Fraker said the camp prides itself on being inclusive but that this is the first time a parent has requested accommodations for a transgender child.

He rejected the notion that the camp discriminated against the boy.

“When the term is used that we ‘banned’ the youth or that we do not want to be extremely inclusive, that is not true,” he said, adding that the camp has hosted many programs for diversity groups in the past.

He also said the decision to not permit the boy to attend would have been made in other circumstances as well.

“It applies to all children,” he said. “If someone came to us and said, ‘Our son has epilepsy,’ or, ‘He has special needs,’ if the training wasn’t there for the staff that would be a similar decision.”

Checky said she didn’t have the heart to tell her son why he wouldn’t be going to camp.

“I told him camp was canceled because there weren’t enough campers signed up,” she said. “Forgive me as a parent, but having experienced everything he’s already been through he doesn’t need any more hurt in his life.”

‘This is how I identify’

Checky said her son came to live with her and her partner a year and a half ago. She said she thought she was getting a 7-year-old girl, but her son told her he did not identify that way on day one.

“He said, ‘This is my name, I’m a boy, I want you to call me he or him, and this is how I identify,’ ” she said. “He asked the teacher to tell the class how he identified and to not make fun of him and just is really able to articulate with his words who he is and how he wants to be addressed and treated.”

Checky said she and her partner immediately returned the clothes, toys and room decor they had bought prior to his arrival and allowed him to pick out new items that suited him better.

She later found out her son had identified as a boy since he was about three years old, but that his identity did not appear to have been as accepted in previous foster homes.

The accommodations she and her partner offered their son have made a huge impact in his life, Checky said.

“The moment we chose to let him be the kid he wanted to be he turned into a really well-behaved, bright student,” she said. “He’s reading at a 12th grade level, he’s an activist, he defends others — he’s a really, really good and well-spoken kid.”

‘I don’t want this to happen to any other kid’

Checky had a meeting with camp officials Tuesday to discuss the incident.

Checky told The Republic prior to the meeting that she would not feel comfortable sending her son to the camp, which was slated to start on July 14, no matter what was discussed at the meeting.

She said she hoped that the meeting would lead to the camp educating its staff on how to accommodate LGBTQ campers so a similar incident doesn’t happen in the future.

“I don’t want this to happen to any other kid, and I want them (the camp) to live out the values they promote on their website and through their camp programs, like exposing underprivileged kids to opportunities,” she said. “For me that means all kids, not just some kids.”

Checky said on Wednesday that the meeting allowed each side to see where the other was coming from, adding that she was able to express her disappointment in the camp’s “unwillingness” to meet with her prior to the media reporting on the incident.

Kris Jacober, the executive director of Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation, said the organization provides funding for foster children but that the foster parents are free to use that funding for whichever camp or activity they choose.

She said to her knowledge, this is the first time one of the foster children in their system has experienced this and called the situation “heartbreaking.”

“It hurts my heart that the kid didn’t go to camp and I’m disappointed,” she said.

Camp plans to train staff

Arizona does not have a law prohibiting public accommodations discrimination on the basis of gender identity. Protected categories include race, color, religion, sex, national origin and ancestry, per A.R.S. 41-1442.

The city of Phoenix has enacted a public accommodations law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression.

Fraker said he and Checky will meet in the fall to discuss what the camp needs to do in order to be ready to host transgender youth by summer 2020, with Fraker adding that the camp “definitely” hopes to have Checky’s son attend.

Checky said her willingness to send her son depends on whether the camp follows through on its commitment to training staff on LGBTQ issues throughout the next year.