Revelation might divide family

Dear Abby: I just found out that my boyfriend of 12 years slept with my stepmother last year. She doesn’t know I know, and now that I do, I struggle with it. Should I tell my dad what I found out, confront her or let sleeping dogs lie? I am deeply hurt. I feel like my heart has been torn out. How can I forgive and forget this?

Dear Wounded: How did you happen upon this news? Did your boyfriend tell you? Unless you are absolutely certain it’s true, do nothing. If you ARE certain, get rid of this poor excuse for a “boyfriend.” And tell your father and stepmother what you know and how hurt you are.

Dear Abby: When we got married, I thought even though he told “everyone” he did it because he had to, that he truly did love me. But as the years have passed, I have realized that maybe he was telling the truth and he did marry me for that reason rather than for love. I feel unloved most of the time. Lately, I have been thinking maybe it’s time to just move on. What’s your advice?

Dear Feeling Torn: Rather than dwell on something your husband said in the past, raise the subject again. And when you do, tell him you are doing it because you feel unloved most of the time. If he tells you he meant it then and still feels that way, my advice is to ask yourself if this is the kind of marriage you want for the rest of your life. Because I assume you have a child, you and your husband need to figure out if you can improve your relationship. If not, then it may be time to move on.