Unruly parents create challenge

High school ADs, officials say adults are ‘ruining sports’

In a recent national survey, more than 2,000 high school athletic directors were asked what they least liked about their jobs.

According to the National Federation of State High School Associations, 62.3% said it was “dealing with aggressive parents and adult fans.”

The association, in a news release last week, added that 80% of high school officials get out of it after two years because of unruly parents, creating a shortage of high school officials nationwide.

Arizona Interscholastic Association Executive Director David Hines, a former Mesa Mountain View athletic director, realizes this has been a hot topic in high school sports for some time.

“The bottom line is there is more demand from parents on coaches, on officials, on school administrators, on teachers,” Hines said. “I think what we really have to understand is that this is educational athletics and it’s different than college and professional.”

“We have to be mindful that we are educating everybody and working with everyone — the really talented kids, and the ones who just want to be involved. I think at times we lose sight of that.”

So far, in the first few weeks of the fall sports season in Arizona, Hines said there has been no major issues with adults or parents’ behavior at games.

“Football really isn’t a problem, because (Coach Jason) Mohns is pretty up front on what he expects out of players and parents,” said Ravel Shaffer, father of Scottsdale Saguaro three-sport athlete Will Shaffer. “He has a very strict code of conduct that we sign.”

Chandler Hamilton Athletic Director Brett Palmer said about 95% of parents are great, supporting the coach, the program and the vision. He said about 3% get upset about decisions being made with their child, such as playing time, losses, coaches’ decisions.

Then, there are the other one-two percent.

“They get very personal and flat-out unreasonable,” Palmer said. “That’s the hardest part, when they just slam coaches and administrators on social media.

“Hamilton is very fortunate to have very supportive and caring parent groups who work with coaches and administration, if there is ever a problem or concern.”

Crossing the line

Fans are closer to the action for basketball and, to some extent, for soccer.

If a rival school felt the football team had the score run up on it, pent-up frustration from spectators can carry over into another season, like basketball and soccer, creating a charge-up and sometimes dangerous atmosphere when those schools meet up.

Former AIA basketball referee Brian Gessner, who is the commissioner of officials for the state association, said unruly behavior by adults at games is a national problem and the No. 1 reason officials leave the avocation.

“From my perspective,” Gessner said, “too many parents have gone from being spirited spectators to being overly and sometimes viciously invested in their children’s endeavors. This includes aggressively coaching from the sidelines during the game and antagonistically engaging with referees.”

Phoenix Brophy Prep soccer coach Paul Allen, who has one of the state’s premier boys programs, feels this issue has long needed to be addressed.

“Headstrong, aggressive parents are ruining sports from the youth level to the top tier,” Allen said. “High school soccer is a place where young adolescents should be enjoying themselves, playing for their school and with their friends. Instead of learning valuable lifelong lessons, the focus is placed on winning.

“A parent’s role should be to support and encourage their child and nothing more. Many of these refs do so for love of the game, not money. It would be a shame to see a decline in high school games due to the loss of referees as a result of unruly behavior.

“In the end, what are we teaching kids with disruptive and inappropriate behavior?”

Phoenix Trevor Browne soccer coach Jeffrey Scofield said there are always two sides to a story, recalling his team’s playoff game at Mesa Red Mountain last year.

“I will admit that some of our parents and supporters crossed the line last year when Trevor Browne traveled to Red Mountain in the state playoffs,” Scofield said. “They were vocal, loud, and at times vulgar.”

“Almost all the noise was directed at the officials who had awarded Red Mountain three penalty kicks, and had issued a Browne player a red card. We lost the game 5-4. I won’t say the officials deserved the abuse they got, but, well, people can draw their own conclusions.”

Modeling poor behavior

Sister Lynn Winsor, long-time athletic director and golf coach for the all-girls Phoenix Xavier College Prep, said she has seen the spectrum of parents, fans and team behavior become more aggressive in both team and individual sports over the years.

“Incidents of hostile behavior towards opposing teams, officials, coaches and athletic administrators has been rising,” Winsor said. “Physical fighting, trash talking and the absence of sportsmanship is much more prevalent.”

She said reasons for the escalation in aggressive behavior ranges from emphasis on winning, the quest for athletic scholarships, negativity on social media, and modeling poor behavior seen at college and pro sporting events.

“Every on-site high school athletic administrator has the well-being and safety of their teams, the opposing teams, the support staff, the fans, and the officials as the primary thing,” Winsor said. “Balancing that goal with providing teams, parents and fans with fun, positive and memorable school sports\activity experiences is a huge job.

“Fortunately, the National Interscholastic Athletic Administrators Association, our state ADs’ association, the AIAAA, and the AIA have classes, workshops and vehicles to assist in dealing with the increasing number of challenging situations that we face in high school sports.”

Glendale Deer Valley basketball coach Jed Dun believes concerns over irate parents can be reduced if the coach and program as a whole enforce appropriate behavior.

“Many times, it’s just mentioned in a parent meeting about how parents should behave,” Dunn said. “The DV parents have been great for the 11 years I’ve been there. We keep it real simple. You act disrespectfully to anyone or talk negative about the program, we remove your child from the program. This is a non-negotiable.

“One of our pillars within in our program is to ‘act right,’ so if we expect the player to act right, we also expect the parent to act right.”

Hines said the AIA is up to 207 officials in all sports this fall, and it is still early in the year with winter and spring sports not registered yet.

“The good news is we’re trying to promote younger people to be involved in officiating,” Hines said. “If you love the sport, and you’re no longer playing, this is a good way to get involved.”

But be sure to come equipped with thick skin.

“I remember a time when we cheered great play and good sportsmanship,” Gessner said. “What happened to honoring kids who are great team players with good character?

“Officiating is an avocation where men and women are giving back to the sports that they love. I would offer to anyone the challenge to become an official and commit the time and effort in the pursuit of the perfectly called game.”

Hines believes the first step to a healthier environment is making sure it’s about the kids.

“It’s not about the coaches and the parents anymore,” Hines said. “We had our opportunities. We can’t just live through our kids. They have to work hard, enjoy what they’re doing, have fun and stay involved.

“We’re going after the idea that we’re going to target the kids. It’s the kids we do everything for. It takes a lot of people. Everybody can help to a degree. We’re trying to move down the road to respect the game. It’s really not any more difficult than that. Respect the officials.”