The Arizona Republic

Rules for treating others with respect

- Harvey Mackay Columnist Contact Harvey Mackay at harvey@mackay.com.

Thomas Jefferson arrived alone on horseback at a hotel in Baltimore and asked for a room. The landlord of the hotel, named Boyden, looked Jefferson up and down and surmised that he was a lowly farmer, and in a curt voice said, “We have no room for you, sir.”

Just after Jefferson had left, a very wealthy man came to the hotel and informed Boyden that the man was Thomas Jefferson, vice president of the United States at the time. Boyden was amazed and appalled that he had turned away the vice president.

“He is the greatest man alive,” declared the wealthy gentleman.

“What have I done?” lamented Boyden. He called for his helpers and he said, “Run and tell that gentleman that he may have 40 rooms if he wishes. Tell him to come back. He can have my wife’s bedroom or my own.”

Jefferson by that time had already reached another hotel when Boyden’s servants caught up with him and delivered their master’s message.

Jefferson replied: “Tell him I have enIf gaged a room. Tell Boyden that I value his good intentions highly, but if he has no room for a dirty farmer, he shall have none for the vice president.”

As baseball great Jackie Robinson said, “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me. All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”

There are four very important words in life: love, honesty, truth and respect. Without these in your life, you have nothing. If there were ever a time in our history when respect was less evident, I would suggest that time is now.

But all is not lost. I think most of us would prefer to return to kinder times when differing opinions were met with open minds. It’s important to listen to other points of view.

You probably spend most of your waking hours at work, where respectful behavior is essential to building trust among co-workers. But friendship­s need to be managed appropriat­ely, just like every other workplace relationsh­ip. Respect in the workplace means that you follow some basic rules. Here are a few important ones.

❚ Limit social chatter. Everyone chats a little at work, but don’t let your friendly conversati­ons overshadow your responsibi­lities. Stay focused on your job most of the time.

❚ Keep private issues private. When you have problems to discuss, do it over lunch or after work. You don’t want to make your co-workers privy to your personal dramas, and they probably don’t want to listen to them either.

❚ Avoid gossip. Most of us love to talk about other people, but you should keep your natural inclinatio­n to share rumors about co-workers or managers in check. If colleagues realize you’re gossiping about them, the backlash could be unpleasant.

❚ Don’t do each others’ jobs. Pitching in to help a friend in a crunch is admirable, but keep it to a reasonable limit. Your manager is in charge of assignment­s and responsibi­lities, not you. You don’t want to give the impression that you don’t trust your manager to do his or her job.

❚ Include, don’t exclude. You may prefer the company of your friend, but don’t ignore the rest of your office. Invite other co-workers to lunch and include them in your conversati­ons.

Mackay’s Moral: Showing respect is not a sign of weakness – it’s a show of strength.

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