Girlfriend nixes time with ex

Dear Abby: I’m recently divorced. We have two wonderful children ages 6 and 11. I try to spend as much time with them as possible because it’s important to me, even if it means spending time with my ex-wife.

The woman I am dating is also divorced. She has a bad relationship with her ex and doesn’t think I should spend any time with my ex, even if it’s for the sake of the kids. An example: My daughter’s birthday is coming up, and it is my ex’s day with the kids. However, we will be going out for a birthday dinner, and my girlfriend doesn’t think I should go.

I’m not torn about going to dinner. I am torn about how to deal with the new girlfriend regarding my relationship with my kids and ex-wife. Any suggestions?

Dear Jeff: Yes, and I sincerely hope you will take this to heart. What you have described is a huge red flag. Lose this girlfriend now.

Dear Abby: My partner and I have a long, loving relationship. But there’s always been this one little problem. When we’re out in public, I ask him to “please pull up your pants” and “please not put your hand down your pants.” He gets upset that I call him out on it, but it’s embarrassing. How can I stop him from letting his pants be a problem?

Dear Jane Doe: Buy your partner a pair of suspenders and insist that he wear them when he’s out in public with you. (It should lessen his need to put his hand down his pants, a habit that should have been “discouraged” before he entered kindergarten.)