Husband keeps tabs on wife

Dear Abby: My 47-year-old daughter is an alcoholic. A year ago, she took several benzodiazepine pills along with the booze and overdosed. My son-in-law found her in time and called 911. She spent five days in a psych hospital to detox, but never went to any follow-up rehab. I had been led to believe she was sober, but recently found out it was not true, and my son-in-law for some reason decided not to tell me.

The other issue is, since she OD’d, he keeps track of all her online spending and personal emails (he has all her passwords) because he claims it’s the only way he can keep tabs on her to find out how much she’s drinking and where she goes to do it. She doesn’t know he’s doing this, and I’m afraid if she finds out she will go ballistic. I don’t know whether or not to tell her, because I don’t want to do anything to make things even worse between them. Advice?

Dear

Fearful:

Isee

nothing

to be gained by telling your daughter her husband is watching her closely. She is a woman with very serious problems, and it’s a shame she didn’t follow through with more rehab after what may have been a suicide attempt.

Your son-in-law cares about his wife. When he realized she had overdosed, he called to get help for her. That he’s monitoring her closely is not a bad thing; it means he loves her and wants to avoid a repeat of what happened. Ask him what you can do to support your daughter, if anything, and take your cue from there.