Woman brings up former beau

Dear Abby: I’m a widower who was very happily married. I have decided to re-enter the dating game. I met a very nice widow, and we connected. As I was lonely, it made a big change for the better in my life.

She had met a man she enjoyed being with some years ago, but it was of short duration because he died. She told me they had a nice, but platonic relationship. My problem is how often she speaks about him. Something reminds her of him, and she wants to talk about it. I can understand that he might come up once in a while, but last month she mentioned him a dozen times. I don’t think she does it to make me jealous, but I find it annoying.

What to do?

Dear Widower:

Address this with your lady friend as frankly as you have to me. If she values the relationship she has with you, she will stop “raising the dead” in conversation.

Dear Abby: This past weekend I was walking at the mall and encountered a gentleman in a wheelchair. I was walking down a long, graduated slope as he was coming up. I offered to assist him, and he politely declined.

My question is, what is the proper thing to do when offering to assist? Is it rude, and is someone offended when offered a helping hand?

Dear Just Trying: I don’t think it is ever offensive to OFFER a helping hand. What can be counterproductive is when a good Samaritan does something without first ASKING, which can be not only frightening but possibly unnecessary.