Teen resists efforts to help her

Dear Abby: My 15-year-old granddaughter has lived for the past several years in an environment with adults who have done drugs, can’t or won’t keep a job and are in and out of jail. I want her to have a better life, and I try to explain what a responsible adult life looks like. But when I do, she accuses me of being judgmental and nonaccepting because these people are “nice.” How can I get her to understand that the lifestyle she’s exposed to isn’t good without coming off as judgmental?

Dear at a Loss: The lessons we teach others don’t always have to be verbal. One way would be to expose your granddaughter – as often as possible – to people who have chosen a different way of life and are reaping the rewards for it.

Dear Abby: I am a 13-year-old dancer, and I recently had a recital. The mothers came backstage to help their children change in the dressing rooms.

A girl my age who has two lesbian mothers was near me while I changed. It made me feel self-conscious. I’m not against same-sex couples, but it felt weird. Am I overreacting?

Dear Midwest Dancer: I think so. Those two mothers were more interested in what was going on with their daughter than with you. If you plan to become a professional dancer you will be changing costumes under all kinds of conditions. This means you will be around straight males and females, gay people of both genders and, occasionally, trans people. It’s a fact of life because separate dressing rooms may not be available.