Question leaves mom speechless

Dear Abby: My daughter unexpectedly died very recently. A “friend” called today asking how I was doing (quarantine, food, pet food, etc). Then she asked me the most unnerving question: “Do you have ‘June’ with you?” I was floored. So many thoughts came rushing at me at once.

After I didn’t speak for several minutes, she asked in an annoyed tone, “Well, did you go get her ashes or not?” Abby, I didn’t know what to say. Her question slammed me against the wall. I mumbled a response, said I had to go and hung up.

Your thoughts?

Dear Grieving Mother: Let’s give the woman a perfect 10 on the insensitivity meter. She was tactless, but she may not have meant to be unkind. My thought is that you handled the situation as well as you could since her question left you understandably flat-footed.

Dear Abby: My older sister bullied me from the time our parents divorced. I was in elementary school, and she was in middle school. We are now adults and retired. Her form of bullying now is to exclude me. It started with announcing to me that I was adopted and progressed to saying in front of me, “Let’s have a family reunion” and not inviting me.

When our father died, she was his executor. She showed the will to my sisters, but would not allow me to see it. Yes, I was in the will as an equal. She told the attorney I was a granddaughter, which I caught and corrected.

Should I just let go of my family since at least two of my three sisters seem to want to let go of me?

Dear Left Out: Yes, you should. Disengaging from the emotionally abusive sisters who treat you cruelly would be healthy for you. Maintain a relationship with the one who is open to it.