Comedian Mike Birbiglia talks about being a dad in a pandemic
In a non-coronavirus world, comedian/author Mike Birbiglia would be on a tour of 10 cities with his new book right now. Instead, he’s spending a lot of days – including Father’s Day – with the little girl who inspired it.
Out this week in time for the holiday, “The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad” (Grand Central Publishing) is the continuation of a Broadway show and Netflix special where Birbiglia shares funny and thoughtful stories about the times before and after the birth of his daughter Oona, now 5. He writes about the seven reasons not to have a kid (No. 7? “People Aren’t Great”) and eventually reveals how she’s changed the lives of both Birbiglia and his wife, poet J. Hope Stein.
It is not, however, a book full of advice.
“Sometimes people go, ‘Is your book like a parenting manual?’ I’m like, ‘No, it’s the opposite. It’s literally what not to do. In detail,’” says Birbiglia, who turns 42 on Saturday.
His prose is accompanied by Stein’s poetry and writings about early motherhood from her book “Little Astronaut.” She “actually does a nice job of providing a really good respite of emotion from sometimes what I’m doing, which is like rant-y comedy runs. I’m sort of drowning in comedic self-pity, and then she’s the emotional lifeguard who pulls me up and goes, ‘Well, actually, this is what’s happening.’ ”
Birbiglia, who also launched his podcast “Working It Out” this week, chatted with USA TODAY – with a guest appearance from Stein – about being a father in the middle of a pandemic and what domestic skill he’s mastered.
Question: How’s the family holding up in quarantine?
Birbiglia: This moment is really a test of families. (Laughs) You really go, “Well, these are the people who I live with, and if I’m lucky and I die of a natural cause eventually, then they’ll be around me when I die.” The silver lining of it is I’ve been able to spend way more time with my daughter than if I were on tour promoting the book. I would miss her making huge strides swimming or reading. All these things where you can’t get it back, obviously.
Q: How much do you talk with Oona
Comedian/author Mike Birbiglia’s new book, “The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad,” is the continuation of a Broadway show and Netflix special where Birbiglia shares funny and thoughtful stories about the times before and after the birth of his daughter Oona, now 5.
ERIC LEIBOWITZ/NETFLIX
about what’s going on?
Birbiglia: We tell her about the virus, but I barely understand what a virus is never mind my daughter who’s 5. I’m not really the person who should be explaining this. I’ve been making this joke, which is I haven’t been writing a lot of jokes during quarantine because I’ve been working on a vaccine, and so far it’s two parts French toast, one part syrup, and we’re in third-stage trials. The first two didn’t work, but we’re going to just keep going ahead with it.
Q: There is a lot of on-the-job training being a parent. What’s one aspect you’ve got down?
Birbiglia: I’m phenomenal at the dishes. There’s a running joke in the book that I just say I do the dishes and then Jen says, “The only part about that story is that you don’t do the dishes.” Ultimately, I spent a couple of years working on the show and the book, and by the end of it, I’m like, “I’m gonna do all the dishes so this is not in dispute at all.” Not only am I good at the dishes, I put my skills head to head with almost any dishwasher in America in terms of water consumption, cleanliness and sterility.
Q: In “The New One,” you commit to having birthday parties for Oona “until the end of time.” How good are you at throwing a kid’s birthday party?
Birbiglia: Let me ask Jen. We did a birthday in quarantine. Every year we go to (New York’s) American Museum of Natural History. And then this year we couldn’t go, for obvious reasons. So Jen, she’s never sewed in her life, (but) she sewed together a felt blue whale.
Stein: I just found fabric around the house. And then we hung it from our ceiling with a piece of string. Every year we take a picture of her in front of the blue whale, and we did that when I was pregnant and we did it when she was 1. Oona’s obsessed with dinosaurs, so she painted like a whole gallery of dinosaurs. So yeah, we re-created the Museum of Natural History. She said it was the best birthday she ever had, even though she didn’t have any friends there.
Birbiglia: That’s what’s odd about raising a child in this. Your kid gets to spend way more time with you than they would have. And so it’s kind of like Christmas every day for them. She loves it.
Q: Do you guys have big Father’s Day plans?
Birbiglia: We’re releasing a book. (Laughs) We are having a pizza party. Oona is well aware of how much Dad likes pizza.