Man thinks of dangerous friend
Dear Abby: I cut off contact with a friend I’ll call “Mick” after my wife and I had our first child. He was a gambling addict, an alcoholic and a serial abuser of women. He was violent when he drank and once broke my nose because of some perceived slight.
Mick had a troubled childhood and then served in the Army in Afghanistan and Iraq. By the time he returned home, his mental health was extremely compromised, and I believe this is what led to most, if not all, of his issues and shortcomings.
I have always believed that, at heart, Mick is a good person. As someone who suffers from mental illness myself, I feel I can understand his issues on some level. I would like to reconnect with him, but I need to protect myself and my family, both emotionally and physically. How might I approach rekindling a relationship with Mick in a safe and reasonable way?
– Missing a Friend
Dear Missing: Drop that idea. You are not a therapist, and you can’t “fix” what’s wrong with Mick. The man is a violent abuser, and you have no proof that he has sought counseling for his issues. Offering the hand of friendship to someone who broke your nose because he had been drinking could be dangerous for you and your family. Your first responsibility is THEIR safety.
Dear Abby: My brother passed away recently. I bought a small life insurance policy 24 years ago to provide for his final expenses and to help his widow at the time of death. After paying for expenses, I plan to leave what’s left to his widow.
My husband is nudging me to deduct the premium I paid for the policy, but I don’t feel comfortable about it. I’m not sure what I should do.
Any suggestions?
– Wondering in the Midwest
Dear Wondering: This was YOUR brother and this is your sister-in-law. Tune your “helpful” husband out and follow your conscience.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at Dear Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.